The Truth About the Blind Side and Recovery with Quinton Aaron

In this powerful episode, Eric welcomes actor Quinton Aaron, best known for portraying Michael Oher in The Blind Side. Quinton opens up about his childhood in the Bronx, the impact of losing his mom, his journey into acting, and the unexpected path that led him to the role that changed his life. He also shares candidly about his battle with food addiction, his struggle with depression, and the turning point that inspired him to shed over 170 pounds and reclaim his health.

More than just a story of Hollywood success, this conversation is about resilience, faith, and the different kinds of recovery we all face. Quinton’s testimony reminds us that setbacks can become stepping stones and that real strength comes from learning to get back up again.

Listen in for encouragement, hope, and practical wisdom on pursuing your purpose, overcoming obstacles, and chasing your dreams until they become reality.

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• Transcript

  Okay, I am really, really excited for today's episode. Um, we're going to sit down and talk with Quinton Aaron. Now, a lot of you are going to know Quinton from his role in the movie The Blind Side, but I want you to hear the Quinton side. And don't let me cliche, but there's a story. Everybody has a story. and he has a very good welltold story. And so if you don't um follow us on YouTube, please take time to go subscribe. You'll be able to watch this episode and our other episodes there. But if you listen to this podcast, you'll be able to stream it on any of our your favorite platforms. If you don't follow us on social media, you can do so. If you want to reach out to me direct, you can do so by emailing me at recoverybow@gmail.com. You can follow Quinton on his platforms and just keep up with him and what he's doing. But he made an impact 16 years ago, but that impact is still changing lives today. And his story is too. So, I want you to just enjoy today's episode as I have this conversation with Quinton. [Music] Man, I'm excited about today's episode cuz um I watched the movie The Blind Side 16 years ago and then you and I met in Atlanta um and you agreed to come on the podcast. Yep. Now, here's the reason I wanted you to come to Dallas. I want to hear your story and it may include some type of addiction, if you will. Doesn't matter if it does or not. I want people to hear that there's different kinds of recovery that people go through and maybe it's just life in recovery. So, on today's episode, I'm honored to have Quinton Aaron join me. Um, come all the way from Atlanta this morning. So, thank you for getting up early and getting here. But uh man, I want to give you just a platform uh to to share, you know, where Quinton came from. What got you to the point you you you made this connection to being a blind side and then how what's life like now cuz you're married and doing all the things, but tell me your life story and and tell it in a way like I'm walking with you back through an experience. Does that make sense? Okay. So uh picture if you will this giant of a child who uh grew up with this big vivid imagination and kind of like a ferdinandable sense of personality. Um, I grew up at a young age. I knew I wanted to be an actor and singer. But, uh, well, before I knew what acting was, I had this imagination that allowed me to fantasize about being certain characters I would watch on TV. um from Batman to Michelangelo to the orange ninja turtle, you know, um and then James Bond because you know when my mom used to take me to church, I had this one good church suit, this black church suit and every time I put it on, I felt like a secret agent. There you go. And I was like, you know, I was feeling black. Exactly. You know, and I I was like, yeah, I I I would kill it as James Van. So, I started trying to like perfect my British accent when I was a little child and, you know, walking around the house trying to talk, you know, and it it just to drive my mom crazy. I remember one time she threw a slipper at me cuz uh she kept calling me and I didn't answer and I said something to her like, "Madam, you will address me as Bond and nothing else." I got your bond like through the shoe and and you know, mothers have impeccable aiming, you know, it's it's it's it's crazy. I I I hit the corner and I remember the shoe came off the wall, caught me in the back of the head and now I broke character. I came back. How'd you get me? I was already gone like, you know, but uh yeah, that was me when I was I was young. Where'd you grow up at? Where where where was this at? Uh Bronx, New York. Bronx, New York. Um it kind of acting was my escape in a sense to where before I knew what it was. Uh I I was getting bullied at school a lot and when I came home my escape was to jump into my favorite shows or movies and kind of like pretend to be the characters that I was watching. So there was a lot of um makeshift character costumes like I had to improvise. I had a Batman bath towel and some tidy whities like that I would put on and then I would always be like stealing my mom's you know like stockings or whatever and that would be like my mask the cave crusader. So I had like one time I made a Batman mask but I took like the empty toilet rolls and put it in there as the ears. Oh yeah. And pulled the mask over my head and my mom was rolling you know. She was like boy what's wrong with you? you know, just to pull it up so I can see just like running around. I was fighting imaginary crime. I did the same thing, but it was with a glad trash bag. Black. Oh, yeah. Not not the big ones like you put lawn stuff in. That was my cape. And then I'd cut and just tear like holes in and I had that nicker tie. Exactly. But I mean that was me. See, I wasn't smart enough to tear the holes in it cuz I ain't think I was like, you know, mama got to wear this to work. So if I mess her stockings up, then he What is this? What is this? like you know. So, uh, man, it was funny. But, um, was it just you and your mom? Me, her, and my brother. Okay. My brother was young. He was four years younger than me. So, at the time that I was doing this, he was like two, you know, and stuff like he wasn't really into he was mean. He was mean really. He was like like well mean in the sense to where he tried to beat me with his bottle, you know, when I got on his nerves. He chased me. He tried to hit me with his bottle. We had a cat, flossy poor cat. He used the terrorizer chasing around the house trying to catch him. He's like two pacifier in his mouth trying to terrorize the cat like but um no it was just funny. We had two different personalities. I was always into the arts. Then he started drawing at a young age and he got got better. Um unfortunately he's sticking with it today but uh it's all it's all good. I think he still has that talent. you just got to just own back into it, you know. But um um yeah, we grew up single mom, you know, we had different dads and everything and had a lot of challenges growing up. Uh my father wasn't in the picture growing up. I didn't know who he was. I actually found him a couple years ago, but like six weeks before he passed. And biological dad? My biological dad. Yeah. I found him through ancestry.com. Uh, really? Yeah. And it was it was weird like I had the sensation one year, I think it was 2022, to find him for some reason. I didn't know why. And when I did wind up, you know, tracking him down, and we met up, had lunch. I remember at the end of it, he said, "I I it makes sense to me now." And I was like, "What?" He said, "Um, I was supposed to die back in 2019." He had a massive heart attack. You know, he had one valve left, one valve left, hard valve left that was leaky. And he had one lung and he was on kidney diialysis. And he was like, he couldn't make sense of why he was still here until meeting me. And that's what he told me. I was like, "Oh my gosh, stop. What are you doing?" Yeah. What are you doing? Was he Was he a big man like you? Like Saul 6'4, but he was skinny. He was like real skinny and everything, but he was uh I think he was in the Air Force. He said he was in the Air Force and everything. Um did he know um Quinton who you were and who you became? He he wasn't able to keep track of me growing up. Uh there's a story there that uh my mom told me when I was younger, you know, apparently she found out he had a whole another family and that's when she packed her bags and moved from Kansas City to New York and said, "Don't come following me." You know, so he wasn't there growing up. But I never really questioned her about him when I got older because I was like I didn't want her to feel like she wasn't enough. So, just left it alone. But, you know, my mom passed away back in 2008. August 30th, actually, 2008. No, that's cool. Thank you. And um I don't know, it was like a couple years ago. So, when I found him and we connected, we stayed in contact over the phone for a little bit after we met in person. And I just really wanted to see who my family was and if I had any other siblings out there and kind of like see where I came from and uh wound up connecting with some of them and you know they're spread out through all over the country. So that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. So whenever you met your dad and um you got to tell him some of your story um what was his reaction when he knew that you had been in the the blind side and but also had moved around a lot like did you guys just spend that one moment together or did you get the chance to spend some time together before he passed? No, unfortunately in person it was that one moment cuz I was I was living in uh Louisiana at the time. He was in Texas and um I was a little bit busy at the time going through I was filming projects left and right and didn't really have time to get out there and see him as much. But I know he had his time was borrowed. He said in himself, I'm on borrowed time. Uh so I think it was like 6 weeks after we met cuz we met the end of August. His birthday was September 24th and I think he passed away the first weekend in October. Uh it was around the 4th or the 6th, something like that. And I just remember when I got the news from one of my sisters, I was sad, but it wasn't it didn't feel like a major loss, but it did feel it just my new friend. Felt like a loss because I remember being excited about what I thought was odd to me. Um, growing up, a lot of my friends have always been able to talk about their dads and the connection and relationship with them, and I never had that. Mhm. I was always, you know, my mom, she was my crown jewel. She was my best friend, the person who I bigged up in every talk or speech that I gave. Um, I never understood the bond between a father and son and how significant it was. So, meeting my father, I was actually able to say for the first time in my life, I have someone that I can talk to who is actually my father and I can call him dad or, you know, so it it felt weird but different in a good way. It is. Yeah, this is that. Did you have any um outside your mom, did you ever have like a a father figure that played any kind of part in any guidance of through your life or do you feel like um if your dad if you had have known your dad longer than that that short amount of time would that have changed the direction or any kind of trajectory? Um there was a couple of father figures throughout my life, my great-grandfather being one of them. um he was there a lot when I was younger, you know, up until I was 16 when he passed away. But um you know, he's my great-grandfather. He was more like a father to me. And I I took a lot from him, what he taught me and stuff, but it was aside from him, not really. Yeah. I mean it's the reason I asked it's important like for people here's the difference between you and I already but the the the the beauty that can be found in it is that I had a I have a father figure and um generationally you know just we're different u he's present but it was just that connection that bond wasn't there um and and I chose you know different things to kind of fill that void where you you didn't. So like you you maybe that outlet you talked about with your creativity and things like that, you know, got you to where you didn't latch on to things that I did, if that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And one and I'm not trying to make this like a heavy conversation. No, no, no. I don't mind it. I don't mind going there. Um I've always had a a way of processing things in my life and and I've always felt like, you know, life is about two things. What happens to you and how you respond to it. And we were never promised the easy road. So, I expect things to be hard. It's just throughout my life, I got so used to things being hard that I didn't expect the easy. And so sometimes when the easy happens, it was easy for me to feel like it it's not true or it's that, you know, I know it looks like that, but I'm not going to hold my breath. You know, I had that kind of mentality with it because it was easier to be unamused because it would soften the blow when the disappointment happened. And um uh I just I went with that and when I would see people get their hopes up, I wasn't like trying to build like tear it down, but I was like, "Okay, I'm going to be the net that's going to catch you when you fall." That's good. Cuz I see where this is going, and if it doesn't add up to being what you hoping for, you're on dry. You know what I mean? I get a taste of reality. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was always that one that was trying to catch people when they fall, but I didn't think about how I need to be caught. Yeah. Sometimes as well. Um I joined the church at an early age. Uh mainly because of my grandparents. You know, I went and spend the summer in a school year with them. And my grandfather was like, he's my grandfather's a pastor out in Augusta in Harlem, Georgia. And um I remember he said, "You stay in this house. You going to go to church?" I was I could I see him as soon as you said that. I know exactly what he looked like. You know, he's like, you know, I was too young to get a job at the time. I was like nine, but he's like, you stay in his house, you going to go you going to go to church. We get up on Sunday, you going to go to church. So I was like, oh man, let me find out what I like about church so I can keep going. Yeah. You know, and I just remember the first time hearing the choir and sitting in the in the audience because I was music was my thing. Yeah. Music was my jam. couldn't tell me nothing. When I was younger, I was a little Michael Jackson, Jackson 5, Michael Jackson. I had the high off the white glove. You know what I mean? Like listen, I was a I won a talent show when I was seven and I sung Who's Loving You by Michael Jackson. Okay. I did the spin drop to knees. Everybody was like, "Oh, they lost this." You need you need to send that to me. Oh, I wish I had the video. I wish, you know, but it it was it was pretty cool, man. I I you know, like my two things was acting and music, and I was always a good imitator, so I would imitate the voices that I heard. And kind of like make it my own. So like my mom a lot of times when she was down, I would try and cheer her up by singing to her. And so I would sing her favorite artist to her. So I was even like I think it was one point I was singing one of her favorite songs was by Anita Baker and Anita had that deeper voice to where it's like you know it's it's it's a female voice but it's almost like second out or tener at times and so I learned one of her songs and I was singing to my mom and then my mom was like hey you can sing my baby can sing. So that's why she put me in a talent show. Yeah. But it it's it's a it was um our thing, you know, music. She was always waking me up for school, coming in the room singing. So we sing to each other when we both down. And uh that's how we got ourselves up. This this mom that you're talking about, I can see um I can see you light up when you talk about her, but she also became you told me before we started um am I saying it right when I say mama? Yep. Yep. She was your mom. Now, if you if you're okay with it, walk walk us and the listeners through this. Um, how did you take that talent of creativeness and, you know, singing and and acting? Um, and how did Mama use that to get you the opportunity to go on the black side? So, my mom was my biggest supporter in everything that I wanted to do and I and I I believe it's the reason for my success is like the key to success is not only your belief in yourself, but it's that support system that the the people behind you that believe in you, egging you on and supporting you every step of the way. And that's what my mom was for me. Um, it's like a love language of affirmation, you know, and and she was real good at getting me to hone in on what I'm capable of and to believe in myself first and foremost because there were always going to be people to make me doubt what I can do or what I'm capable of. And so, she gave me different perspectives on everything, especially even with the bullying. Um, I remember coming coming home one day and asking her, I said, "How come nobody likes me, you know, and I was all sad in my feelings, sitting on the bed, and she goes, "Well, let me ask you a question. Do you believe me when I say I love you?" I said, "Yes." And she said, "And your friends, your family, you believe they love you?" I said, "Yes." And so, she looks around, she's like, "So, what do you mean? Uh, how come nobody likes you?" And I said, "Well, the kids at school." And she said, "I just pointed out several people in your life that love you and accept you for who you are. So why does it matter the kids that you're only going to see for a fraction of your life what they think about you?" Yeah. And I was like, I I don't know. Can't argue with that. I I I don't know. And my mom was like, you know, uh we weren't put here to please everybody. You know, you have a purpose in life. You have gifts that you need to cater to along the way and help them develop into everything that you can become. And you can't focus on that if you're worried about who doesn't like you. Mhm. you know, and so it kind of changed my perspective on that and put me at ease with myself because I was always trying to become something that people would accept or someone that people would accept because I didn't feel like they accepted me for me. And so that translated into as I got older, um, I kept singing, kept acting, and my mom asked me, she said, "What's the one thing that if you woke up tomorrow and could do it no more, it would absolutely devastate you?" And I said, "Acting." And she was like, "Well, that's your career. That's what you need to focus on making happen." Um, and so we did like I stayed in drama all through high school. When I graduated, um, I wanted to go back to New York to pursue a career. But, uh, cuz you were in Augusta at this point. You graduated, uh, from August somewhere in August. Go Hills. Go Hills, actually. And um I wanted to go back to New York to pursue the dream, but also because I sing too, there was an opportunity. We found out about American Idol auditions happening. And so I was like, I'm going to try out. I'm American. I Well, I I auditioned I didn't make it past the I didn't make it to the TB where I'm going in front of Randy Paul and Simon. Um cuz there was two stages before that. You get the I think you have the you audition for the executive producers and then the producers. If you make it past them, then you go on the show. And so the people that don't do good at all, they just do that for TV. Yeah. Yeah. And they take a lot of they took a lot of bad talent that kind of got in the place of good talent. So it was like, you know, I was I remember when I got to New York, I was number 4,238 or something like that. at the Jacob Javis Center in line waiting, you know, to audition. So, we spent the whole weekend like sleeping in the parking lot and uh I was committed. I was like, I'm going to get in there, show them what I got, but I was shy. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did a good job with the song vocally, but my stage presence wasn't there. I was I was shy. But whenever I got on stage to do a play, there was no shyness involved. It was like I felt like I belong here. And not only was I good at it, the crowd validated it because I would always get standard ovations for my performance. So that's got to make you feel good. It does. It does. So, uh, listen, it was like, you know, I always played the humble approach like, "Oh, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it." But when everyone erupts and rolls in, it's like, it's hard not to feel good about yourself, you know? And so, are you enjoying the podcast but desire to meet and walk with more people through recovery? Well, we'd love for you to join our live community inside the Recovery Vow Collective. The Collective is a place of connection, support, and healing for couples walking through addiction and recovery together. Go to recoverybow.com/collective to join us now. You'll be glad you did. I mean, the couple times that we've, you know, interacted and hung out, I can see that like I can see where you are shy, softspoken, almost like the character you played. Um, yeah, I feel like your life just hearing the what you've told so far, it really aligns with that that character you played. It does. Well, you know what's what's crazy about that is uh when I met the director and I told him my story, um, at the end of our conversation, he shook my hand and and said he'll be in touch. Um, I remember him saying later in the interview, he was like, it kind of broke my heart when I met him because I knew right away he was the guy that I was going to pick for this movie. And at our at the end of our meeting, which I did do this, he remembered um I gave him my business card cuz I was doing private security and bounc work at that time and I had a head shot on it and he said, "On your business card?" On my business card? Yeah. And so I was like, uh, you know, the likelihood of me getting this part is I know it's a slim chance. I'm not used to good things happening to me like that, but I do security on the side and I would love the opportunity to work for whoever you pick to be in this film if that's if that's okay. And he took the card and then, you know, he said, "Man, inside my heart was breaking because I, you know, I wanted to give him tell him right there that he got the part, but I couldn't do that." And so, you know, just seeing that later in the interview, I was like, "Wow." Yeah. I knew it. I felt it because it was I don't know. It was like I walked in there feeling like okay I could have this and I walked out feeling like Will Smith in the pursuit of happiness when he got that job that he ran across town for. I was like I was tears running down my face everything and it was just so many emotions and but I can hear that same advice that you were talking about earlier when you talk to people like you you always give the little bit of reality that it may not be possible and you you told yourself that. Yeah. And and that was my that was my go-to. I I I didn't really believe that I should allow myself to get so caught up in hope that I'm oblivious to the fact that the opposite of what I want can happen. Mhm. You know, because then that's when you you go down the slippery slope and you're depressed or sad or whatever. Uh all I knew is that I was right for the role, you know, sizewise. I I feel like I gave a great performance because there wasn't a dry room, you know, dry eye in the room. Um, when I did the audition and that was something you don't see when you go into an audition. What did the like walk us through that day like what did the audition look like? What what were you asked to do? So, there was uh four scenes for the audition. I went into the room. I met with uh Twinkie Bird is her name. Uh she was a casting director at the time. from her and her her business partner Wendy. Um, and I remember like they saw the size and they were like, "Okay, this he looks the part. He looks, you know, I want to see make sure he's good and knows everything he needs to know." So they asked me, "Did I read the script?" I was like, "No, just the sides." So she's like, "I'm not supposed to do this, but here's the script. I want you to go down the street. There's a coffee shop. Take a couple hours, read the script, and come back ready to do it. So, I did that. I was already off book because I knew the sides front to back. But, uh, read the script down, had a full understanding of the story. Came back after I did the audition. Everyone was crying in the room. Was there a certain part of the movie they made you read? Yeah. So, I did the scene where he fusses at Sandra after he leaves the investigator's office. Why did you make me? Yeah. And um I did You want it for me or did you want it for you? Yeah, exactly. And uh I did the scene where he asked for for a license, something with his name on it. And um I think the other scene was that never had a bed before. I was about to say have a bed. Yeah. And then and man, I think that was the last scene. It was No, no, that was the second to last scene. The last scene was me fussing at her. And so when he did that, I was confused cuz normally they have this very stoic look on their face and you can't tell whether you did good or bad based on their expression. So when they're crying, they walk up to me. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. When um Twinkie goes, uh, we found our Michael. And I'm like, really? I'm I'm so green. Yeah. At this point, I don't know, you know, what that means. I don't know if that means I got the part right away or, you know what, I just know I was excited. I'm like, this this got to be good. It's got to be good. And so the next day, I had a call back, which turned into um I think like 3 4 weeks later, I'm being flown out to LA to meet the director. and he told me, you know, um I asked him would I be able to meet Michael, the real Michael, and he advised against it because he said, you know, Michael today isn't how Michael was back in the day. You know, I feel like that would be important for you. A lot of people study the character that they're playing, you know. Exactly. But he told me he was like, "You're such a soft spoken teddy bear of a band." And I feel like people would love that. The audience will love that. He said, "I want to portray you. You're going to tell Michael's story, but do it as yourself. I don't want you to meet him and try and act like him and then it doesn't come off as genuine." And so I was like, "Okay, all right, cool. No problem. I can do this." And so the movie, what a lot of people don't know, it was me being me. like see that the emotion and everything I brought to the character was my emotion. How would this affect Quinton was my logic throughout the film? Um, but to the people that didn't know, it was like, "Oh my god, he's acting just like Michael is awesome." But I wasn't I wasn't acting like Michael. I was being me. Uh, just the difference was the dialogue, you know. But um I will be forever grateful for everything that this role has contributed to my life, my success, uh my ministry, my testimony. Um I've had people I've had NFL players come to me at the start of their career telling me that I'm the reason they stuck with football, you know, and so to hear stuff like that is just like, wow. Yeah. I mean, that's awesome, Quinton. I mean, and I thought that cuz I I went um when I knew that you said you would come do the podcast. Um I went and rewatched the movie a couple weeks ago and um just the the time that we spent together in Atlanta, you were you tell you're very genuine in your your demeanor and your and your response and everything you're saying now makes sense like you were just being yourself. Yeah. Um, did the the being yourself in that do you see your life in that same story? Was it similar at all? Yours and and Michael or story? Definitely some similarities that I was able to pinpoint um in both of our stories. Um, not as dramatic as the never had a bed situation before, but you know, up until we left to go do the movie, that hotel that we stayed in when they flew flew first flew me and my brother to Georgia, um, those was the most comfortable beds we'd ever felt in our life. And we had a big suite. He had his room, I had mine. We both had big king-size beds to ourselves and I I swear I felt like we were sleeping in heaven. That's awesome. Oh my god. Like we woke up the next morning, we were in tears. Like, dude, that was so soft. I want to take this bed with me everywhere. It was just crazy because um I want to I want to circle back actually and just tell the story um of a few things that happened leading up to Yeah, sure. the audition. And I mean, uh, not after the after the audition, but leading up to actually getting the part. So, um, this Friday is my birthday, right? 41. 41. Yeah. And, uh, 2 weeks after that marks the 17th year of the passing of my mom. She died August 30th, uh, 2008. And, um, so that's why your brother went with you. I was wondering. Yeah. So your mom passed before you started filming the movie. She did. She did. One of the last things she told me is that, you know, because it was a writer strike going on, there was a lot of time that went by since we heard anything, like almost a year. Mhm. And um she said to me, "It doesn't matter what they're doing right now. Everything is on hold for a reason, but mark my words, there's no way they're going to do this movie without you." and she truly believed that, you know, and I learned long long ago not to doubt mama. So, I I listened to it and I I believed her. I believed her wholeheartedly when she said that cuz she's always right. Um I didn't know she wasn't going to be around to see it happen. But when I tried to make sense of it, she was in so much pain. Her health was deteriorating. And with how sick she was, had she still been here, I probably would have turned down the role just to stay with her because she wasn't well enough to travel. What was she battling? Uh, congestive heart failure. Um, I'm pretty sure she was type 2 diabetic as well. Um, obstructive sleep apnnea. She had a trache in her throat. Um, and minus the trait, I have all little symptoms right now. I'm type two diabetic with congestive health heart. Yeah, heart failure and uh obstructive sleep apnnea. So I now know what she's been dealing with. Um and a few years ago I felt just as bad as she did before I got my myself together and kind of like started taking fear or taking my health more serious. Yeah. So to speak lost a lot of weight. I did. I did. I I um lost in total like a 170. It's a little 170 pounds. See another person. Yeah. Um I was dealing with depression that kind of hit me like a ton of bricks after I think this is around like 2012 2013ish when the success of the film started to die down. I reached this point in my life where everything started to get quiet, but then the grieving come back and it it got loud. And so I became a depressive eater and that was my drug. Food was my drug. Um I was eating when I wasn't even hungry. Just going out and buying food and sitting in my car in the parking lot eating it and crying and stuff and not knowing why. I'm like, you know, why am I why do I feel this way, you know? Um or why am I doing this? Like what? I'm not happy. What am I doing? And I had this come to Jesus moment probably like 2022 and it was it was weird. It was it was um I call it a case of the Humpty Dumpties. Okay. Yeah. All right. So Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. They had a great fall. All right. There was this lakefront I used to go to in uh Louisiana. I was staying in Mandville, Louisiana at the time. And I'd go sit on this wall. On the other side of the wall was the water. And I go sit out there normally in the morning. Sit out there for like an hour, pray, meditate. That was my jam. This one day in particular, I was busy from the morning all the way to like 5 something even. I had a a ton of things to do. And after I finished my day, the weather was beautiful. My brother was in the car with me. So I said, "Hey, do you mind if I go to the lakefront? I just want to sit out there for a little bit." Cool. So he's in the car, probably like 50 ft away from me, sitting here on his phone. I'm sitting at the wall. I'm just chilling, listening to the water, you know, just sound something you would do now that I know you a little bit. Yeah, exactly. you know, and just like just sitting here just taking it in. And um I remember this old couple passing me and they said hi and everything and they went on about their business and probably like 10 seconds after they pass, they hear a splash and they turn around and look and I'm gone. And it was funny cuz the lady said I count the water. I told my husband there's no way that big boy moved that fast. And it all was rolling because it was just it was funny because like they had just saw me and then they turned back and I was like like and that's the funny thing. It's like I I passed out. Literally I passed out. I was sitting on the wall and this is when I found out it was like a 12 foot drop, but the water was only 3 ft deep and I literally woke up underwater. So, I never had time to take a breath or anything. I'm just upside down underwater. I landed on my neck and my back my shoulder kind of like my right shoulder like hit the ground hard balance. So, it was the crash into the to the water. I mean to the the ground underneath the water that woke me up. And before I could freak out, I heard this voice say, "Stand up." And I said, "Okay." And I just started trying to get to my feet now. The waves are pushing me. I'm upside down and I'm hitting my head into the rocks on the water. I think it was like bleeding a little bit. And my wallet and my phone was still in my pocket. And it took me a few seconds, but I finally got right side up and then I stood up. The water came to my thighs and I was like, that's when it took a breath cuz I can't swim. So that could have been bad. Yeah, but you're like 8t tall so you know your thigh is maybe like six feet deep, you know. Exactly. So, um I you know at that point I was able to take a breath and just like like thank you. I'm glad it wasn't deep enough to where I had to swim up because I don't know if I could have done it. Um, but I get to my feet and I tried to reach up to grab the wall and it felt like my shoulder was broke. So that's when they called the ambulance. Long story short, I had to walk all the way to the steps was like a quarter mile down. Um, when I get by the time I got to the steps, the ambulance was already there. They were trying to come in the water after me. They get me. I finally get uh out. I get into the ambulance. They gave me morphine. I was in so much pain. I felt like every bump in the ambulance. I was like, "This this sucks. Let me out. I'll walk. I'll walk." Like I was tore up. And we get to the hospital, pull all the wet clothes off, put me in a gown, and they start examining me top to bottom. And I had an infection on my big toe that almost caused me to lose my big toe. and I didn't know about it. And so I was like, you know, God, you have a funny way of of telling the brother to get checked out. He could have told me a lot more subtly than pushing me off the wall into the water. So I go to the hospital and find out that my foot about to be tow up, you know, and that was just my whole take on it, but it was just it was it needed to be done. It needed to be done. That's what I was about to say. It needed to happen, you know, and um I hate you got hurt. Yeah. But it was like, oh man, for like I think I almost had like a hunchback for several months. I couldn't I couldn't sit up like this. It hurt. So I would sit like this cuz when I sat up like this, I would get dizzy, nauseated, and I would just like feel like I'm going to pass out. And so I would always sit with my head bent over like that. And I had this knot back here. And I couldn't do this what I just did right now. I couldn't do that. Like this. And this was before AR was made a movie. This was after you sit there after because you depression all the things and and yeah and and so like it was things was piling up one thing after the next. Um I was sick long before I got my diagnosis. Uh, back in 2018, I booked a movie overseas that unfortunately never got a chance to happen. But, um, it was my it was going to be my first action film, okay, that I was going to be starring in with some other bigname actors. Um, I mean, the movie ain't happen now, so but it was Colin Frell, Mel Gibson, Lee Forever, and myself. Uh, such a good movie. Yeah. And I was thinking when you said an action movie, I don't know why, but I went Tropic Thunder. I'm like, this guy ain't doing Tropic Thunder. It was supposed to be it was supposed to be in an island on on an island off the coast of Bulgaria or somewhere like that. So, you know, you weren't that far. We were like a a group of ex-military dudes that were doing some stuff. I don't remember fully what the story was, but I remember I read the script, loved it. It was definitely the type of role I wanted to do. And my character also didn't die and he saved his team at the end. So I was like, "Yes." I remember when I got the call from the director that the part was mine. I celebrate. I was sending Denny's and I'm eating. I was sitting in Denny's by myself. I'm eating. So I I celebrated. I freaked out. I got off the phone and told everybody in Denny's that I just booked it and they're like cheering for me and it was crazy like a real dark moment afterwards. So I had that moment and then I'm sitting here I'm thinking to myself I said to myself I'm probably going to die doing this film. Why do you think that thought come across? just the depression not battling the good news was I was at this time I was around 540 550 um my health was deteriorating fast everything that my mom felt towards the end I was experiencing my legs were messed up I could barely walk from one room to the next without being able to breathe um I had petty edema in my joints and my lower extremities. It was just so many things. But I wouldn't go to the hospital. You know, men were stubborn. We don't want to go to the doctor. And so, I wouldn't go get checked out. But I felt like I was dying. And so, that thought when I said it out loud, I swear, I kid you not, two days later, I get a phone call. My agent is like, "Quinn, are you sitting now?" And I'm like, "What now?" Like, "What?" And because I knew for some reason I just knew it was it was a wrap. And she goes, "Uh, the it doesn't look like the movie's going to happen. The investors are pulling their funding." And that was all she knew at the time. And I'm like, "Well, how how much money do they need? I know investors. Like, let's get this back on the road." But it didn't wind up happening. Uh later on I found out some other stuff about it, but ultimately I chocked that up to God taking that away from me because of what I said. I said I'm probably going to die doing this film. He's like, "Yep, no, it's not your time." So just the fact that he know I was going to do everything within my power to try and crush this role Mhm. and it probably would have winded up killing me Mhm. he took the opportunity away. And so I I just was like, at least that's what I told myself. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I had to keep it moving, you know? I I much like Michael's character, I didn't like to dwell on the past because it's it's things that happen that you can't change. You know, this is it's down to how do we move forward? That was my mindset. Always moving forward. So that happened probably like a year later is when I actually got di my diagnosis about the congestive heart failure. Um which I already knew before the doctor told me because I said I was experiencing everything my mom was. My legs looked like hers. Everything from varicose veins to the dark coloring around the the calves and the ankles. uh the not being able to breathe. I had to sit up and sleep for almost a year because I couldn't breathe laying down. So, I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair with my legs elevated and that's how I would sleep. Is this when the moment I would say this would be a moment of clarity for people that walk through recovery like like that could be a rock bottom like you had an addiction to food pretty much. Is that when you decided to get healthy? It was it was uh it was not long after that because there was this moment where again I felt God speak to me and he would ask me these questions that you know just real blunt and straight to the point like I remember one day I hear his voice say, "Do you want to die?" And I answer I'm like, "No." And it's always like, "What are you going to do about it?" And it's like I'm sitting here talking to myself because I know I'm the only one that heard that. There's literally no one else around me, but yet as clear as day, I can hear him asking me that. And so when he said, "What are you going to do?" I said, "I need help." And this was after uh my last CO thing. So when I said I need help, um cuz I was like I I I finally made that confession. I can't do it alone. I need help. I suddenly lost a taste for sugar. And I don't know if this was one of my symptoms because after I caught CO I caught a weird chocolate craving and I was crushing like four kingsiz candy bars a day like unhealthy like just pounded sugar. I had chocolate paydays, Snickers, Reese's like the the king the big Reese's cups. Uhhuh. And um what's the other one? Chocolate payday. You had that. Oh, dude. It was sounds delicious. I don't want to tempt you with anything. Hey, listen. I I I'd be going to the store. I'm late out. No, no. You know, going through withdrawals and stuff like, "No." And uh I think Oh, Kit Kats. The big cat Kit Kats. I would Oh, those were my four go-tos. And then put a pack of double stuffed Oreos in front of me with some milk. It's a wrap. I just knocked off the whole bag of them. We celebrated my 10 year anniversary where I work at. That's like the sheet we fill out of what our favorite snacks are and double stuffed Oreos on there. Oh yeah. And I can literally kill them because I'll take a friend of mine at work showed me. You stab it with a fork through the cream and you can just dip it in the milk. Oh yeah. Yeah. And eat it. And I did that the other night and before I knew it was I was 12 deep. I'm like But they're so good. I mean when they're salsa so good isn't Yeah. So I mean I I can relate to that. Not on the on the king-size four days, but definitely on a sleeve of Oreos. Yeah, definitely. It was like un unhealthy habits, you know, all the way around for me. But, you know, it was it was crazy because when I asked for help, suddenly I couldn't stand those things anymore. And I would It's not that like I found that I couldn't stand it because when I would try to eat it, it just tastes nasty. Like I couldn't describe it. It was like spitting the bar out like what? That was a bad candy bar. Yeah. It took me a couple times cuz I'm like I had to go get another one. I think I a bad batch. Every time I would put chocolate or something sweeter candy in my mouth, I couldn't couldn't do it. So I started to think, "Okay, I can't eat that no more. What else can I not do?" Lost the taste for soda. Soda was nasty. Everything that was sweet was nasty. I tried to eat bread, couldn't keep it down. Tried to eat spaghetti, couldn't keep it down. So, I cut out sugar and carbs. And in 3 weeks of doing that, I lost almost 50 lbs. And then I was like, "Okay, he's helping me." Mhm. And I started putting it together. I'm like, "Okay, that's okay. All right, cool. Now I need to do my part. I started feeling so much better with that almost 50 lbs gone. I could walk. I could breathe. I could, you know what I mean? Stuff just started laying down and sleep. Mhm. And oh man, I'm tell I was in tears when I realized what God was doing and I wanted to help. So I started reading into stuff like intermittent fasting and all the stuff because I was weak. Because throughout this phase of of me not training like I used to and being sick with the heart condition, I got weak. Now, I used to be strong. I used to I used to be able to bench press 275 for like 12 reps. I didn't ask you, but did you play football? Uh I played one year in high school and then one year in middle pro. Okay. But I I I I lift because I wanted to build a certain physique. It wasn't for the sports. It was just how I wanted to do. And then like man, I was leg pressing like over 700 lb. I was strong. When I got sick with the heart stuff, I remember going to the gym one day and this is after I lost some of the weight. I'm like, I'm going to go to the gym. Let's see what I could do. So, my warm-ups used to be with the two plates and you know, just Yeah. I put the money on. I couldn't get it off the off the the thing. So, I'm Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it off. my foot to 25. Barely get it off. I'm like, "Oh, man. Come on. All right, let's do a warm up." I took everything off, just the bar. I couldn't make it to 10. I put I put the bar back on the thing. I left the gym. I was like, "No, this is this is some bull. No, I got to get out of here." Was not cut out for everybody. I don't go to the gym. I'm proud of you for for doing it, but I'm just not cut out for it either. But it was like that was my thing. like I I loved seeing how strong I was getting and building the the physique that I wanted. So when I when I couldn't do it anymore, it was depressing. And so I was like, "Nope, I got to get out of here because I do not want to backtrack on everything that I was doing. I want to stay the course." And so I just made my weight loss about everything that I can do outside of the gym to promote this transformation. And so losing 170 pounds without stepping foot in a gym, that's massive. It's Yeah. And I to this day I'm like still, how'd you do that? And I'm like by the grace of God, you know, he was there helping me. He lose weight and muscle weight, you know? So it's a it's a lot. It's almost like a keto diet basically. basically. And cuz I did keto back in the day, too, when I was training, that's what I was that's what I was doing, the leg press and the bench and all of that. I was on the keto diet when I was doing that. But the danger about that is after I stopped the keto diet and started eating carbs and stuff again. Kind of started blowing up again cuz I lost 120 pounds on keto. Yeah. You know, and and then when I stopped, I kind of put majority of that back on or at least 60 lbs back on. Yeah. And um I just wanted to do something that would stick. And cutting out the the sweets, cutting out the sodas, cutting out the juices, and all the carbs that I was eating helped because now I was like without having the mindset of going back into keto, I still was was eating like that sometimes. Like I would I would stick to the cucumber salads cuz I love those. I love cucumbers. I love tomatoes. You use vinegar. Yeah. The balsamic vinegarette and the and the onions and like chop those. So that's my go-to jam. Um I would do that or I would do like burgers without the buns for the protein. Do that. No. You know what I mean? And so my meals were simple. My meals were simple. If I had any rice, you know, it would be like a like a fistful. Mhm. You know, not a lot, nothing crazy, but I didn't really eat rice a lot neither because I wanted to, you know, go as dry as I could. So, um, and I've heard a lot of things about, you know, everyone has a take on something. White rice is not good for you. Brown rice is not good for you, this not good for you. That I'm like, everything's going to kill you. Yeah. You know, so I just like stuck to what I was doing. um didn't really ask anyone for advice and just weight just kept coming, just kept dropping. And I made a goal for myself that by my mom's birthday I would be back down to my blind side weight. And so I went from 4, no, I went from 570 to 392 in 6 months. That's a massive amount of weight to come off. And when you when you were telling that story, it's um you can replace that food with with anything. I mean that that was your addiction you know and so now being in the way you are now that's this is your recovery and yes and people need to know that about you and how you decided to make that trans transformation in your life I mean it's that's really powerful um when when we talk about uh the blind side you know do you ever get tired of it no I don't um because it was you you mentioned earlier like it was 16 years ago but I just want you to know when I brought you in and we got coffee, that generation that's probably two generations behind you. Yeah. They glow. Their face lit up and they're like, "Oh, yeah." And they wanted a picture and all that. So, I mean, I never want you to ever get tired of it. That's why I asked you because that movie and you and your performance, you making you're making an impact and that's hard for people to do, but you're you're making a huge impact. I I I appreciate that because um I like to think that as artists, we're selfless and selfish at times. And both can be true in the sense that the art that we do is as much for us as it is for everyone else because we enjoy putting out something that people can take from, you know. Um, for me, and I say that because everything that I've done on screen or on stage as a singer, I ultimately want to be able to affect someone positively with what I do, you know, inspire or encourage or uplift or give that motivation that people are missing in their lives to know that they can or they're worthy or they're enough, you know? And so you need to start a podcast or some kind of a coaching. You know what? I I I've been told that a lot and I just haven't had the uh the knowhow. Oh, you don't have to know anything. You think I know what I'm doing. I Well, I feel like you know more than me. Sitting right here and listen. But you've got something to give back. Your story. I love giving. I love giving. You know, I That's what this is about. Just giving you a platform. I got a full-time job. I mean, I I don't do this for fun. I do it to share a platform and to help, you know. But my way to help in this situation would be to just encourage you to use your story, use your gift to coach people. Like you could change people's lives with just your encouragement. I do, you know, I appreciate that. I appreciate it. It's uh it's it's all the the things that I was lacking when I was growing up that I wish I had, you know. Um, again, like I said, if I feel like if my there's so many things that I don't know, and I've over the years started trying to learn because one day I hope to be a father myself, you know, and have kids and when trying to raise my children, I want to be able to teach them things that I wasn't taught growing up, you You know, so I'm learning things late in life that I wasn't taught by a father figure to grow up, like how to fix a car. Funny enough, my wife knows how to fix cars. Yeah, exactly. So, I said, Mr. mechanic of the family. I said, "What we going to do is when we build our dream house, we're going to build that that that car garage that and I said, we going to turn it into some, you know, I I I see a future business because our garage is going to be able to supply and help all of the cars in the neighborhood when they got stuff they want to go come to. Making money in your sleep." Exactly. you know. So I said we're going to do that and then you're going to teach me and our kids how to fix cars so that we don't never be in a situation where we stranded got called triple A you know I said I I I'll teach our kids how to fight how to defend themselves how to think you know I feel like that also helped me growing up is I learned I started learning self-defense and the bullying stopped because I knew how to defend myself and it wasn't that I I learned it so I can go out there and fight. It was just I wanted to stop being afraid that if by chance I did get into a fight, I'm going to get beat up. I wouldn't fight you. Yeah. You know, I I I just You got to read the room, right? I mean, yeah. How tall are you? 6'8. I mean, yeah. Well, you know, it's funny though, the me today. Yeah. I wouldn't fight me today because I I know now what I didn't back in the day. like um I think I really learned how to defend myself when I got to high school. Um and it wasn't something that I was like, "Okay, now I know how to defend myself." It was just I found out on the fly. I found out like in the, you know, this one moment I'm being jumped by four football players, the next moment all four of them on the ground, hurdled up in a fetal position and I'm standing there without the scratch. Yeah. All me is like, "Okay, how'd that happen?" Yeah, I would want you on, you know. Um, I grew up watching WWE and action movies. So, my mind goes to a crazy place. You I tell you, I'm a method actor. You know, y not so much method actor, but like, you know, if come time for a fight, somebody's getting joke slam, rock bottom, like power bump, you know, might even be a leg drop or people's elbow in there somewhere. But like, I wouldn't I wouldn't mess with you. I know I said that, but I'm not going to mess with you. But I also not look I', you know, really look up to you, but then I look up to you, too, man. I really do. Um, here's what I want to do as we kind of land the plane, if you will. Is, you know, people are going to watch this episode and and they may wonder, you know, why would you come on this podcast? Um, I feel like you give a sense of um, encouragement, but you also take um, a different type of addiction or a different type of recovery and let people see it from your point of view. And there are it's come up a lot lately where people have um, have had different kinds of um, addictions and food is one of them. Yes. Um, so if you were going to look down the barrel of one of these cameras and and give, you know, your moment um or your word to speak to someone, what what would be the word of encouragement? And then if you were speaking to Quinton 5 years from now, what would you tell yourself? Nice. All right. The word of encouragement, speaking of someone who All right. Um, I learned long time ago from a very smart woman, my mom, to live your life chasing your dreams until they become your reality. Or else you will live your life working for people living their dreams. Um, that's good. Say that again. You know, uh, that's really good. Yeah. live your life chasing your dreams until they become your reality or else you'll live your life working for people living their dreams. Um my mom told me that when she was trying to encourage me to go after what I want in life and not to settle for less than. Um, she told me, "Knowing what you want to do with your life is like an inside secret that you have with yourself and nobody else knows until you start to tell it or until you start to show it. So, you're in on the ground floor with your success. Only you can stop you from be successful because no one else knows what you're capable of until they see you. So, they can't chime in and say, "You can't do this. you can't do that. The only way they can do that is if you give them the opportunity to. So, I started to adapt to the the code of silence in in a sense where I work in silence because no one needs to know what I'm trying to do or what I'm working towards until I've already achieved success in that field. Because then instead of criticism or negativity, I was getting, you know, recognition or praise or congratulations because of it. And in return, it allowed me to inspire or encourage people to do the same. Um, I found out earlier in life that I get joy from helping people. I grew up feeling worthless at times and whenever I found that I had something to contribute to people in my life that affected them positively, it did something for me in here and I wanted more of it. So that in a sense became a drug to me because I wanted to help as many people as I can because I loved what I got from helping others. And um you will in your journey of of doing what you want to do, you're going to face hardship. You're going to face challenges, but they're not to discourage you. They're not to break you down. They're not to put you down and submit you. They're to build you up. They're to build your character. When you go to the gym to work out, it's not hard. I mean, it's not easy at first. It's hard. You know what I mean? and you you when you can barely get that bench off the ground, off the off the bar, that's hard, you know. But when you do it repetitively, repetitively and consistently, you start to get better at it and you get stronger. That's the same thing with life. When life starts to beat you down, just know that you can always get back up from the beatings because as long as you're still breathing, you're still meant to get back up. And you know, just apply to your everyday life the mindset that you're going to be better today than you was yesterday. And you're not in competition with nobody else other than yourself. I'm not in I used to say I'm not in competition with nobody other than my yesterday. That's really good. You know, and when I keep that mindset every day, I aspire to be better than I was the day before. So, if I did something subpar yesterday, I'm going to do something, you know, astronomically better hopefully tomorrow, you know, because we only get one tomorrow and we only get one yesterday. You can't go back and change your yesterdays, but you can hopefully change your tomorrows. to make it better than your yesterday was. So, um if if you can take anything from my video or my story, um and what we spoke about today was only a fraction of it. It's a lot. It's a lot more. You know, we can we can meet again and do as many episodes as you want, but Absolutely. Absolutely. But, um I think the main takeaway is, you know, don't be in competition with anybody other than yourself. and go after your dreams because your lack of success is your own fault. It's no one else's. Yep. It's your own fault. Um if you allow life to tell you you can't do something, that's on you because you can do whatever you put your mind to. Um I'm a Christian so I believe in what is it? Corinthians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You know what I mean? And that's true. That's true. If God gives us the strength to do all things through him, why are we telling ourselves that we can't do this or we can't do that? Um, I do want to talk about this one story I didn't I didn't get to mention. Um there was this was during co getting ready to happen and I remember I just came back from a friend's wedding in Napa Valley and I was in um where is that hot state? Arizona. Arizona. I was in Arizona. Georgia. Yeah. Exactly. I was in Arizona. It's like 7:30 in the morning. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed. and I'm getting ready to go to a meeting and I had not $1 in my pocket and I said, "You know what, God? I'm I'm not going to ask anybody for anything. I'm just going to give all my cares, all my worries. I'm going to cast them to you. Um, you're my provider and you know what I need. So, I'm just going to trust in you to provide it." And I said, "I do have a question though. I know you do not create us to live in fear, but there's a lot of fear going around with this pandemic. Should I be afraid? That was my question. And then I got up, did what I had to do. Went to the meeting. We didn't talk about money in the meeting. It wasn't that at all. We talked about God. Actually, at the end of the meeting, I stood up, shook the guy's hand, he put $300 of cash in my hand and said, "God told me to give this to you." And I was like, you know, you are something else. I'm like, "Oh, you are something else." I didn't have a dime to my name, and I needed to go back home, which was New Mexico at the time. and uh I had to pay for my luggage and get a card to the airport. Didn't know how I was going to do any of that. So, this dude gave me the money that wounded up being exactly what I needed to get back home. You know, everything from both Ubers to paying for the luggage to getting something to eat and you know, so it was covered it all. Like, wow. Covered it all. And um but later on that night, that same night when I had that meeting, me and some of my friends were at this restaurant. It's like a tequila bar or something like that. Uh glass windows all around. They have these bulb lights hanging outside the structure. 10 minutes before we get ready to go, I noticed the lights outside the window start spinning like somebody was spinning it. And next thing and I know I I address it. I'm like, why is those bulbs spinning like that? And then the front doors of the place snatch open and I'm looking at a tornado. It's like literally right in front of me. It's like probably like the distance of that desk and those chairs. And I was about to the little girl in me almost freaked out and ran in the bathroom and scream like a you know what I mean? So I was about to freak out and I'm like that's a that's a tornado. I was stuttering everything. And the craziest thing, full restaurant, no one else believed they were seeing a tornado but me. They didn't know what they were seeing. They were seeing something, but to them it didn't look like a tornado. They're like, "No, it doesn't." Like I'm like, "What are you talking about? It's going sideways. There's lightning and rain and it's a twister. Haven't you seen the movie?" Like I'm freaking out. And they're taking out their phones. They're walking towards the door. I'm like, "Don't just going to snatch you up." Like trying to take pictures of what they're seeing cuz they couldn't make sense of it. And then after a couple seconds, I got this overwhelming sense of calm that came over me. And I said, "Maybe it's not a tornado." I loosened my grip on the chair that I was squeezing. And the moment I had that thought, it disappeared. It's like went away just like I was like, "Huh?" You know what? There was bushes and roses and cars and all of that. It's going to be messed up. Watch when we leave. All that's going to be messed up. I'm saying this to myself cuz I don't believe I'm like I was looking at a tornado. It's a tornado. I I know what a tornado look like, right? Yeah. Cuz that's my one of my biggest fears. I don't want to get caught in one. So, we go out of the the the restaurant. We turned the corner where all the bushes and everything was. There wasn't a rose petal out of place. I cannot make sense of this. I'm like, what? Okay, I'm literally somebody spiked my water cuz I didn't know how to take I'm like, okay, something's going on. It's crazy. We get in the car, pull out of the place, we turn back down the road. We came, there's trees knocked over, street signs bent, debris everywhere. At the end of the road, there's a cop putting down flares. We pull up, put down the window. I asked him, "Officer, what happened?" He goes, "Man, you're not going to believe it. About 10 minutes ago, there was a tornado that blew up out of here like a bat out of hell. It stopped over there." He points at the restaurant. It's like It just sat there for a few seconds, then just disappear. And that's that literally how I can't get his voice out my head. That's how he sounded. And this was Arizona, not Georgia. He went back in Harlem. Exactly. And that's what was funny about it because I was like, he sounded like he was straight from the South. Yeah. you know, and Well, that's crazy though. It just turned. Yeah. And it just like disappeared. And it was at the same moment that I said, "Oh, maybe it's not a tornado." But what God did there is he showed me the witness. It was only meant for me to see because that was my deepest, darkest fear. And the reason why I put that together is because the next place we went to, it was like a little dive bar that they went, my friends went inside. And I stood outside and I'm looking at the sky. There's stars, not a cloud in sight. I'm looking at my phone. There was nothing about any tornado in the radar and a Doppler and everything. And I'm sitting there and I'm looking up and then I hear his voice as clear as day. And he goes, "If I can bring your deepest, darkest fears to your doorstep and not let it harm anything or anyone around you, why are you afraid?" I was like, "No, boy. That's a huge moment of clarity." I was, "You know what? You you right. I was tripping. I'm My bad. I was He's like, "Yeah, it literally um I didn't know what to say. I was like, "Wow, that is He's right. Why am I afraid?" I was a, you know, from that moment on, I I stopped being afraid of CO. I stopped being afraid of the pandemic that I felt was meant to project fear. I'm not saying that people didn't experience the the the gruesomeness, but I I just I put it all in God's hands and I and I let go of my fear and it was it was a simple answer to a question, you know, and and God's in control, so why are we afraid? He's he's steering the ship. He's he's got this. So when I when I started to think about it like that, I'm like, um, okay, so now I just need to go through life doing what I need to without worrying about all the the ups and downs, ifs, and hands, but that you can't control. And so I made my my uh journey about always keeping them first and always, you know, I didn't want to get too caught up in me to where I start only chasing what I want to do without knowing if it's something that he wanted for me or something that he wanted me to do, you know? And and so, you know, I I I like you to explain it in a in a way that it's a spiritual experience that you and God had. Yeah. The relationship is the way that you understand them. Um I really like that a lot. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It's a it's a it's a I said moment of clarity cuz I had to like I beg him to be present in certain times, you know, when I was in active addiction like get me out of this. It's like if you were really real, you know, I wanted him to show me a tornado something. Mhm. Um then it happens in his time. Like I can I can beg and plead for it, but it happens in his time. And there's a reason for that. And you know what? I I I always thought um I used to hear people say, "I get so mad at God cuz he lets this happen or he lets that happen." I said, "You know what? God's perfect. I'm not." So when I would look at the wrong things that happened in my life, I started to ask myself these three questions. Am I doing something that I'm not supposed to be and God's waiting for me to stop? Am I not doing something that I'm supposed to be doing and he's waiting for me to start? Or is there someone or something around me that shouldn't be and God is waiting for me to remove them or remove myself from that situation? And I said, if I if I could honestly go through that those three questions in my life when I call it taking inventory in my life and and abide by those, then I feel like things would start becoming more clear, you know, and and because I'm moving how he wants me to move, you know. Um the Bible says get your house in order. You know, you can't have your house in order if you got people disrespecting you in your house. You know, it's just something simple like that. Just to use an example. It's like get your house in order means that everybody under your roof, they need to have God in their life or else they need to be under another roof, you know? And it's I started sounding like my granddaddy. You going to stay in this house, you're going to go to church, you know? And so I can see five people when you do that, boy. Like one guy I work with, Mr. Mr. Phil. Hey, Eric. How you doing? All right. All right. And I mean, that's that's exactly what I just see feel every time you do that, boy. You know, it but it's funny because like I remember saying like I I now know what the old folks meant when they used to say, "Oh, I'll be there if it's God's will." You know, cuz it's all about his will, what he has in store for us instead of, you know, what we have in store for ourselves. You know, I used, you know, you used to hear the the saying, if you ever want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans. Yes. You know, that's what it's about. It's like, you know, tell God what you got planned for you. You going to make God laugh, plan something. Exactly. You know, and and he going to laugh cuz he's like, "Listen, I'm I'm driving this shit." Like, the sooner we get out the way. As soon as we get out the way cuz he's sitting there. He's like, you know, I remember I used to have people around me that would take from me all the time and because I'm such a big kind-hearted person, I would allow them to. And I felt like God was sitting there. He was like, you I have this for you, but I'm not going to give it to you yet because they going to take it and this ain't for them. So, I need you to do something first. I got up and moved from Florida to New Mexico. Rented a house. Got into, you know, a nice place for myself. All of a sudden, new job opportunity, new car, God was good, you know what I mean? Got a puppy, living good. And I'm like, "Oh my god, everything is just like falling into place." And I felt like it was because I was finally being obedient with what he wanted me to do. And so that's why I was like, that's why I got that understanding. It's if it's God's will. Yeah. Because if you're trying to do things that's not his will, then you're trying to do your will. It ain't about our will. It's about his. Get out the way. Yeah. And so that's another that's more advice that, you know, you guys could take from Yeah. put God first in everything that you do and you know you'll start to have a clear perspective on the struggles and the victories. Um, welcome the struggles, welcome the failures because that's how you grow, you know. Don't get discouraged because you fell down. Get back up. Yeah. It's hard sometimes. Remember, you got to thank God for the hard Exactly. Because you're learning stuff. That's where that's where the the lessons are learned in the things that knock you down. Mhm. And just be grateful for the good, but thankful for the bad. Man, I'm I'm so honored and thankful that you said yes to coming here. Absolutely. Uh allowing me to host you um and I know that uh traveling isn't always fun, but um I hope your time here with me has been fun and um and we can continue our network and our growth together in whatever we do and how we collaborate. Um, thank you so much for coming and sharing not just the blind side, but the Quinton side, like just sharing Quinton with me and our listeners and our viewers. Thank you so much for