Garron’s Grace Wins: The Wingates on Grief, Healing, and God’s Purpose | The Recovery Vow Podcast

In this deeply moving episode of The Recovery Vow Podcast, Eric sits down with the Wingate family—Brooke, Garrett, and their son Davis—to share their powerful story of faith after the unthinkable loss of their 19-year-old son, Garron. Together, they open up about the night of the accident, the heartbreak of unanswered questions, and how they found peace through faith, community, and God’s undeniable presence in their pain.

Brooke courageously recounts the moment that changed their lives forever and how she has learned to lean on God instead of trying to understand the “why.” Garrett reflects on what it means to lead his family through tragedy while holding onto hope, and Davis shares how music became his outlet for healing after losing his brother.

This raw and faith-filled conversation reminds us that recovery isn’t always about addiction—it’s also about loss, surrender, and the long road of trusting God through heartbreak. The Wingates’ story is a testament to how love and faith can transform grief into a legacy of hope.

On This Episode:

• How the Wingates found faith and strength after unimaginable loss

• What it looks like to cling to God when the “why” never comes

• The role of community and honest vulnerability in healing

• How grief transformed their family’s faith and purpose

• The hope found in trusting God’s plan—especially when it hurts most

  Follow and support the Wingate family’s mission at Garron’s Grace Wins
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• Transcript

  On today's episode, we're going to talk about what type of recovery is out there. Now, you've heard me talk about the type of recovery from drugs and alcohol, substance addiction, process addiction. But then there's the recovery that some of us are in, and that's the recovery of having loss. [Music] When we talk about recovery, everybody's in some kind of recovery. I mean, everybody has something they're going to bring to the table, the foot of the cross, whatever you want to say. But on today's episode, I've got the Windgate family. I've got Brooke and I've got Davis, and I've got Mr. Garrett here with me. I'm so thankful for this family to come here all the way from the big state of Georgia. All the way south Georgia. But, um, Brooke, why don't you start and listen, when you're talking to this this audience that's going to be listening to you, I want you to put us in the room with you as you're telling a story. Okay. Okay. And I'd like to go back to the room you were in when you guys met. Can you remember how did you guys come together? High school. Well, we met in high school. High school. I was a freshman. He was a senior. He hardly knew I existed. I did. That's a big age number when you're in high school. It is. It is. But we didn't date in high school. Um that's where we first met, of course. He had the blue eyes and tall and farmer, so I was locked in. Yeah. I mean, those girls. Yeah. But um it was actually seven years later when we met up one night. I was out eating with some friends. He was out at the same restaurant eating with some friends. And we sat there for like 6 hours that night just talking and we were engaged in 6 weeks and we were married in 6 months. Like I just I just knew I can't pass your recolle recollection of that whole event. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Knew each other in high school. Knew each other in high school. That date then. Met through some friends at a restaurant later. 7 years later. Yep. 5 weeks or 6 hours worth of talking. Six. Yep. 6 hours of talking. Five weeks of courting. Six. Six weeks of courting. 5 months. I do. Mhm. Okay. Yep. Well, I was just in I was in two rooms. I was in biology class with you and I was at Applebees. I don't know what restaurant, but that's just where I went. So, tell me from that day forward though, what it was not Applebee's. I'm just going to say get the two for 20. No. Um, all right. But tell me guys, like this this is the the loveydvey part of your story. You know, you guys meet, get together, get married. You knew right away you wanted to have kids. Mhm. Talk to us about um when you guys decided to start having children. Mhm. Was that Well, let me be careful how I ask that. Was it 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, or you know, did you start right away? We did. Okay. Yeah, we did. Okay. And I will I I'll I'll say it. You know, we didn't think we didn't do things biblically correct back in those days. Um that is not why we got married though. Um just want to say that listeners need to hear that and and your pastor our life was not, you know, following Jesus at that time. Yeah. We we was following the world. And um we were engaged on March 4th, I think. Mhm. Um, I actually I actually engaged on a day I probably made her probably the maddest of our whole marriage. I made her try on wedding dresses and we weren't even engaged yet. I was mad. It was weird. She was embarrassed. I'm like, why am I doing all the girls? I don't even have a ring. He just knew. Yeah, cuz I showed him the ring. Um, he did have to go get fitted for a tux. That's why we were there. He's like, "Why don't you just try on a dress?" I'm like, "That is so stupid. I don't even have a ring." But you had a reason to be there for the touch, right? Yes. Yes. But yeah, we wasn't quite that weird. Okay. But we did. We She got pregnant before we after we got engaged. Yeah. And we had a we kind of rushed the wedding on a little bit, but um I mean it wasn't It's part of your story. It wasn't by the book per se, but it was close, but you in there and saw them somewhere. But, you know, we we took things as they came, you know, for the first several years and and played the world's game and it it almost broke us. Yeah. You know, there was a lot of ups and downs and more downs than there was ups. Now, this was um full-time farming is what you were doing at the time. Yes. Well, at the when we got married, I was I I'd left the farm, you know, trying to find bigger, better things, you know, farming for your dad. small farm. Um, money wasn't great. I was cheap labor. I love him to death, but I was cheap labor. Um, but he um, you know, he wanted me to go off and do better things, but I I tried a few other jobs and ended up going back, you know, always come back home. Always came back home. And then I, you know, I love to cook. So then I pursued that for a few years. And I mean, it was it was good except for the help. Yeah. you know, finding good help in small towns real hard. Yeah. Um, but then took over the farm when he retired for a year and then I got a job offer with a big farmer and that was 6 years ago. Mhm. So, so that's what you do now? That's what I do now. Yeah. And how about you, Miss Brooke? What was what do you do for a living and then um before you became a mom and got married and all the things? Tell me a little bit about you. I am in education now. Um, before I got married, just working deadend jobs. Um, always knew I wanted to be a mama. That was one of my big just dreams. I mean, even when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a school teacher and a mama. Yep. So, um, sounds like my wife. She would be a school teacher, but she's not. But she loves being a mama. Yeah, she really does. So, um I have been with the same school system for gosh 15 probably years. So, what uh what grade do you teach? I actually work with special ed and we have I'm in a special ed program and we serve K through 12. I'm the behavior support specialist and I do groups with all the students. So, I I have K through 12. That's a special calling on your life right there. Real special. Yep. All right. Um, now this handsome young fell down there on the end. Who we got with us? This is our 16-year-old son, Davis. Um, he is the biggest blessing that we never knew we ever needed. I was fixing to go there. I'll let you tell it. I when we found out we were having a boy, I was content. Um, Garrett had his son. He was content. Well, I said I always wanted two two boys. Two two kids in general. Yeah. But when when we had Garen, I told her, I said, "You know, the way this world's going, I feel like it's injustice bringing a kid into this world." You know, I was afraid I couldn't love another child like I love Garen. So, that's why I just only wanted one. I was like, "It's not fair to bring another human when I can't. I know I can't." Why did you say that? I just didn't think I could share the love that I had for Garen with another baby, another child. But God's plans are far greater than ours, and he knows far better than we. Is that something you just tell yourself and you start to believe it or is that like a postpartum thing or don't really know? I don't really know. I just didn't know. She found out quick. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. Okay. The greatest blessing I never knew I ever needed. I mean, we we wasn't trying for him. I mean, and actually, it was about 3 years to the date when we found out we was pregnant with him. Really? Their birthdays was only a week or so apart. Wow. All right, big guy. I heard you like to play the guitar left-handed, do some other things. But, uh, how old are you? And and tell us a little bit about you. Um, 16, sophomore in high school or junior in high school. And hey, I messed things up, too. I didn't get your name right. three times. So, you just get you get whatever grade you want to be in. That's right. I I actually deliver bread with my granddad, her dad. Okay. And I just started that. I took over Garren's position. Okay. And I picked up the guitar what a year ago now. Yeah. Probably. And I was on I've always loved music. I played the drums as a kid and I've always loved the guitar. Garren, he played the guitar for just a few months. And I was always left-handed, so I could never use his. So, yeah. Um, you can't just turn those upside down either, but swap strings. Yeah. And that's what I ended up doing. Garren's buddy gave me a guitar. I just switched the strings around. And then a few months ago, he went out and bought me a left-handed an actual left-handed guitar. And I just beat around on it for a few months. But after losing Garren, I started pursuing it. I started writing my own music. That's good, man. That's your outlet. I mean, that could be like an outlet for a lot of people. He's written a bunch of songs. Yeah. So, I don't want to take a hard shift, but I got to shift. The reason I wanted you guys to tell a little bit about yourself is because the rest of our conversation is going to be about Aaron, which includes us, you know, but um everybody on this planet needs to hear when when a young adult makes that kind of an impact on somebody else's life. Okay. So, I need to let our listeners know that that I came across this family uh on a Tik Tok that someone sent me, my wife, and and our some I'm sorry, Kristen sent this to me. Um, but this is important because this is important for people to hear because this is how God gets kind of intertwined in things when you try people that that don't have a belief, they just, oh, that that's weird thing happened. Well, this isn't this isn't a weird thing. No, she sent me um a video that you put up. I think it was on TikTok. Am I right? It was. What about that video? And before we get into Garren because I don't remember exactly, but what about that video made you go viral? Do you remember? It was me telling the story of his accident. Okay. Tell us the story of his accident and then I want to talk about Garren as a of who he was. Okay. I'm going to go ahead and grab Kleenex. Okay. So, take one pass down. Okay. Go. So, um, thank you. March 28th, close to midnight. Um, we're both asleep. I had sent Garen a Snapchat at 10:30 of, um, You had a lot of mom apps. I do. Snapchat, Tik Tok. Yeah. Okay. We figured out that's how I was able to communicate with my children and see what all they were doing. But anyway, um, I love it. He loved Ella Langley, a country music singer, and she had a boyin. And we have a boyin. Like Garren's always loved boyin dogs. Well, I found a picture of her and her boyin. And I sent it to him on Snap. And he didn't open it. He was out of town. He was in Statesboro visiting his girlfriend. Her roommate's birthday was the next week, so they were celebrating her birthday. just had a little get together at their house and um right Georgia Southern Georgia Southern. Yes. So he never opened the snap, which that wasn't unusual, you know, for him to open it the next day. Like I didn't think anything about it. So um we're asleep and I wake up hearing Garrett on the phone and I said, "Who was that?" and he said that was Jim. Jim's our preacher. And I said, "What did he want?" And he said, "I don't know. He's in our driveway." Well, I'm like trying to wake up trying to, you know, process what this could mean. I grab my phone and look at Life 360. And thank God I didn't like zoom in on on it cuz I clicked Garen and um it just showed where he was in Statesboro. So, I didn't really think a whole lot into it. So, I said, "Do I need to go downstairs with you?" And he said, "Well, this can't be good. Like, our preacher is at our house at midnight. You probably need to come." So, I'm scrambling around still trying to get my thoughts. Like, I got to find some yoga pants or short. I got to find something, you know. Um, and I'm trying to turn my my thoughts away from Garen, even though that was the first thoughts because the preacher didn't tell you what when when I answer the phone. He said, "Get this Jim." He said, "I'm in your yard. You need to come talk to me." And I mean, I am I'm I'm part of a men's group, a good men's group in our church. And you know, that went through my mind, too. Something happened one of them. Yeah. And look, so I start to come out of our bedroom and go downstairs and I hear one of the guys that's with our preacher, it was our preacher and another guy say, "Garen," and he fell apart. So I come running downstairs and I said, "What did you just say? What did you say? What did you say?" And our preacher Jim like kind of met me. We our stairs come down. We have like this little platform and then they go down some more. And he met me on that platform and said, um, Garren's had an accident at Georgia Southern. Um, he was handling a firearm and accidentally shot himself in the face. I don't remember a whole lot. I remember going crazy like we had to go. I was like, we got to find a plane. We got to get somebody to fly us. Like there is no we can't get there in How far are you from? 3 hours from Statesboro to your home to our home. 3 hours. And I Garrett said we we can't like his um boss has a private jet. I said call him. Call him. He said baby by the time I get him on the phone he gets the pilot. They get it ready. Like we could be there. We we've just got to go. So, we all threw on some clothes and um getting a phone call like that and especially the circumstances. I had a bad feeling from the get-go and I said, "We cannot leave Davis. Like, get Davis up. He's going with us." And he said, "Baby, he's already in the truck. Like, I need you to come on." So, woke him up. The time went back upstairs. From the time we got the phone call to the time we were pulling out of my driveway was 7 minutes. I did have mind enough to call my sister and um she called our parents. I feel so bad about putting that on her now, but that was just like my first thought was I got to call my sister. Mhm. And then um I called my mom and told her. So I have my parents are divorced, so I have a mom and a dad and bonus parents. Yeah. So, um, we get on the road and I'm just praying like I am praying, "God, help my baby. Help my baby. Save my baby. Don't like this cannot be happening. God, help us. Help us. Help us." Well, we went too far into the trip. I get sick and like we're having to pull over because I'm sick and I'm angry with myself because I'm trying to get to my child. Mhm. And anyway, so we just all the emotions you're dealing with. Absolutely. Yeah. Thoughts, emotions. And it was so weird because at 12:31, I don't know why I looked at the clock and I just I I knew he was gone. Like I can't I can't explain it. That's honestly when I started getting sick was I just had this feeling that he was already gone and we were trying so hard to get there. Well, we were about an hour and a half from St. We haven't heard from nobody in Stburg. No hospital anybody there. No law enforcement. Like we we didn't get any kind of phone calls from anybody. And let me back up. The way our preacher found out his niece is it was her birthday coming up. Um his niece Chandler and Garen's girlfriend Ada lived or they still live together. So Chandler called her parents and her daddy and our preacher are brothers and he called our preacher. So that's how he found out before we knew. And with the I'll get into this later, but with the um situation, it was an active investigation. So the girls could not contact us. They were told do not contact. Really? Yes. Okay. And that was just because it was an open active investigation. Like at that point everybody was kind of considered a suspect. Like they didn't really know what had happened. So we did later find out that there was a local deputy coming to our house to tell us but we left before they could get there and he was glad because um he didn't have to deal with that. Well his boy and Garren played ball together. We knew each other for a long time. He was a friend a friend of our is a friend of ours. So, we're an hour and a half away and the phone rings and it's a 912 9 Yeah, 912 area code. And I said, "Answer it. That's the hospital." And um he answers the phone. And the person on the other end said his name, which to this day I can't tell you what the name was. He said, "I am the corner from bullet counting." So, we were told nonchalantly over the phone that our child was gone. Like, didn't ask, "Are you headed to the hospital?" Like, "He's gone." And I just remember screaming and um I ended up hanging up on him because I was just in shock. No, I think I hung up on him when we said, "What happened?" And his assumption was that he was drunk at a party. He was at a birthday party with a few people. His assumption was he was drunk at this party, pulled out his gun and was waving it around and it went off. So I just hung up on him because I didn't want to hear that. And you know, we think we know who our children are when they're not around us, but really we don't know. So that was what we thought had happened. That's important for people to hear. Yeah, that's important for people to hear because when we have had people on the podcast before, they talk about drinking. Mhm. Like when I've told my story, my first time drinking was at 13, 14, 15. And you you're right. I mean, no, not every kid's like that, right? But you guys don't know who we are when we're out there. No, absolutely not. So, we pull over on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. It's the three of us. We lose our minds. I call my parents. He calls his parents. Called a preacher and which we didn't know it but our preacher like he tried to drive us and Garrett like I think the only thing he could control at that point was the vehicle and getting there. So he wanted to drive control. Right. Right. So I we called all of our parents and told them you know that he had passed and um I said I need to call Dory. Dory is my best friend and her husband is Garrett's best friend and her son and Davis are best friends. Like I did not need them to hear from anybody else. So, I called her and told her and um we were told just to go to the sheriff's department. So, we load back up. We go to the sheriff's department. The deputy was so nice. He said that it really looked like it was an accident. He said, "You know, it there is an investigation. I don't know for sure. It does look like there it was an accident." And let me back up one more time, too. Um, there was so many questions on my TikTok about why didn't the girls call us? And like I said, it was because it was an active investigation, but and they probably Yeah. I mean, they've experienced like Chandler did CPR on my child. Ada, his girlfriend, compressed his wound. It went in through the cheek and out the temple. From what I've understood, um, the corner told us we couldn't see him. It didn't work. So, shouldn't see him. We later found out that we really could have, but how do you go in and see your child like that? You know, that's a hard question for me to ask. Did you? Yeah. No. I didn't want to see I wanted to remember him alive and well. Yeah. I didn't want to remember him like that. Yeah. And I'm trying to think as a as a parent, I'm a parent. Um nobody ever wants to deal with that situation. But what what human part can you play right to help get you closure or some help? In my mind, I'm like, "Okay, I got to feel these emotions." Yeah. Is this a part of an emotion I'm going to feel later on, like by seeing them, right? So, I I get it. Yeah. So, again, the guy at the sheriff's department was very nice. Told us to call the investigator at 9:00 in the morning. Well, this is like 3:30. I'm like, "What are we going to do?" So, we drive around for an hour looking for a hotel before we found one. We finally found one. So, I called my best friend Dory back and told her, "We're leaving the sheriff's department. Um, we don't know anything. They think it was an accident. We're going to find a hotel." And she said, "Well, I'm trying to get to you." And I said, "Don't come. Like, there's nothing." She said, "Oh, I'm an hour from you." They already started coming. She had my location and her son and Davis shared their location with each other, she said. And Jim and Steven are on the way, too. So, those were the two that came over. And her husband, Dory's husband's one of my best friends. Yes. And his parents and sister and brother-in-law and niece were all in Atlanta. So, when we told them the definite, they started heading towards Statesboro. So, we all get in this hotel room and just wait and wait and wait for what seems like ever. Cuz you go into the hotel, you're not going back to sleep. No. No. Absolutely. You just need a place to get out of the truck, right, for a minute, right? So, everybody gets there. We're waiting and Garrett starts calling around 9:00. Doesn't really get I think he was told he hasn't come in yet. Well, then um and the main thing we were waiting on was getting his truck. Like his truck was part of the investigation. They had towed it to the sheriff's department with his cell phone. So, going back to me looking at Life 360. If I would have zoomed in on it, I would have seen that he was that his phone was at the sheriff's department. So, I'm just glad that that didn't happen. So, um, it rocks on. We rock on. It's 10:30, still nothing. So, my brother-in-law and father-in-law go to the sheriff's department to just see if they can talk to somebody. Had no luck there. So, my brother-in-law called our local sheriff from our hometown, explained what was going on, and he said, "Well, I know the sheriff. let me call him. So when I got like all the details, 911 was called at 10:39 p.m. So this is 10:45ish. This is a good 12 hours later. The sheriff knew nothing about this. Like there was a 19-year-old child involved in an accident that caused a death and he didn't know. And that I mean I'm not blaming anybody. That's just odd to me. Well, well, your your story up to that point, and I'm not knocking Statesboro, right? I guess what I'm saying is it seemed like it'd be a better practice of policy or procedure, something. Okay. Yeah. You Yeah, you would think so. I don't know what theirs is, but you would think so. Part of it would be bedside manner for a coroner. Exactly. There shouldn't be something announced on a phone with two traveling parents. Yeah. you know, or ever. I feel like it's the hardest news you're going to deliver to someone. The deputy or the hospital one should have called us to see where we were at and then like I don't even think they should have called to see where we're at. I think they should have called and said, "Your son's been involved in an accident. You need to come to the hospital." Mhm. Regardless of what his because I later found out like it was instant. It was very instant. He didn't suffer. Thank God. Mhm. So, we end up leaving. We had to leave the vehicle. Um, which you know at that point I just had to get out of that town. Again, nothing personal to Statesboro. But at that point, Statesboro had taken my child from me and I just had to get out of there. I remember hearing my dad, my brother-in-law, Steven Rams, and Michael Reed and all them talking behind me, you know, everything seemed kind of like in a barrel, you know, just echoing. And I remember hearing one of them or them talking about we'll get the we'll get the truck later. We we'll we'll drive back up there, whatever. And I remember telling me and her talk said, "We got to get out of here. We got to go. We just had to go." So, we decided that we were going to go and stay with my in-laws. They live right down the road from us. And cuz I just couldn't go home. Davis didn't want to go home. Like that was that was my next question. Like, what do you what do you do as a couple? They shared a room. Yeah. I mean, So we what do you do as a couple for each other? But then you got your other baby. Yeah. Yeah. You got to couple up, be mom and dad at the same time, right? So we go to my in-laws like the next week is a blur, obviously. Let me back up. On the way home, we get a call from LifeLink about organ donating and they are the ones that told us it was ruled an accident and he wouldn't require an autopsy. We still haven't heard from anybody at the sheriff's department. How' they know that? I wonder cuz they saw the report. Oh, yeah. I think that's right. So, and that was a decision that we had to make right then. Like we had 45 minutes for the paperwork to be processed or he wouldn't have been able we wouldn't have been able to donate. Well, the um guy was so nice. He was so respectful and kind and I highly recommend LifeLink like they have been wonderful to us. But he told us everything that he qualified for and it was a lot. Y um I don't want to get into too much detail, but I mean it was full thickness skin, front um torso, back, full thickness skin, fronts and backs of legs and my cousin was burned in a severe accident about 10 years ago and 60% of his body needed skin grafts. So that was very important to us. um ribs, sternum, all the bones in his arms and his legs, eyes, eyes, all of that can be reused. Yes. Heart vessels and heart valves. So, a lot of people think with organ just organs. Yeah. They think that organ donating is like your heart, your kidneys, but your skin is an organ. But they can also take the blood vessels and the bones and that's why like they weren't able to use his heart and liver and you know things like that. But there are certain things that you can harvest up to 24 hours afterwards and that's what he was eligible for. How long it take you to make that decision? About 2 seconds. We had that long to decide. M we l we looked at each other and we're like yeah yeah but I mean you know he that's important like we know a lot of people we had a friend she passed away from cystic fibrosis but she had two double lung transplants like organ donating is very important to me and that's another way for him to still be able to live on and to help others even in death. Yeah, I think that's it's important the way you say it that way is um some people get to meet the person. They got a year. Yes, we got a year. Yeah, they cannot contact us for a year, but I pray that they do. So, if everybody else will pray with us, you want them to contact me. Absolutely. Even if it's just one, I just want I just want to hear their story, you know. So, we get back to his parents house finally and I don't remember a whole lot. I mean, there was tons of people in and out. There was a lot of people, a lot of lot of support. Um, like I said, we I have a strong strong men's group and that's great. We've got it. We've got a core of four of us that that pretty much started it. And of course, they were there. I mean, as long as they, you know, every every time I turn around, I just I look for them. And it's hard for because I can look at you and tell like you're not just going to be softspoken. It's going to tell me everything I want to hear just when we hang out. But if we're in our small group setting of people you depend on, you kind of let your guard down and become be yourself a little bit more. I guess I tell everybody, you know, they were there what I feel like they were there for them knowing me. They were there in case I needed them. Mhm. And they wasn't going to be standing behind me. They weren't going to be coming up every 5 minutes asking, "You okay? You okay? Are you?" And one of them, one of I mean, he's he's like a mentor to me, Steven Godley. He He come up to me. He said, "I don't know how you're doing it." He said, "I'm over here. I can't quit crying and you're checking on everybody else." Because Garren had a tight group of guys that were hurt. Mhm. they 16 to 20 years old and I think we had 13 pawbears if I'm remembering correctly and have no clue how to process this. Mhm. And I come to the peace that Garren's all right, you know, he is beyond safe now. Mhm. Cuz I knew where his heart was. those those young guys, you know, I felt like I knew where their heart was. But when something like this happens, it'll harden your heart quick. Not weeks, months. I'm talking about within an instant, your heart your I feel like your heart could get hardened over God. And this was on a Sunday, that Sunday, and I was waiting on a good friend of mine, life lifelong friend I grew up in church with him and another one another another buddy. They they were coming after church and I met him in the yard, you know, and we just, you know, he got out and just crying. I was crying and he hugged me. He said, "I just want to let you know." He said, "I've never seen a group, a congregation pray like they did today." Everybody was on a knee. And that's about the time I felt that that peace and I changed my focus on him, her, and them guys. And because God told me that Garren's good. And you needed to hear that. And I needed to hear that. That's really good. I remember um I work I work for a church full-time, still do, and um my pastor Marty Baker when we do when we deal with these hard situations like us, he said, "Don't go in there and say anything stupid." And he's being real. Yeah. Don't. He said, "Not one of these people going to remember anything you say. They just want to see you there." And I think that gives me the peace when I'm doing even interviews like this. It's I'm not going to say the perfect thing, but I get to be here with you when you're sharing this story that cuz the impact that um that it made on you guys in in your family like the strength that y'all have that's uh this happened in March. Mhm. Mhm. So, it's not even a year yet. Mm- Only God. Mhm. I um met a lady shortly after this and um I've always known who she was. She was um we're from the same town. They owned a dry cleaning business, Miss Janet Hammock. And um I know the family personally. I got to talking to her. I had So this happened the week before my spring break. So I had a hair appointment scheduled for my spring break, which was, you know, after we had gone through the visitation and the service and everything. And my best friend Dory does my hair and she said, "There won't be anybody here. Like, if you want to keep the appointment, your first thing like you won't see anybody. It's fine." Well, Miss Janet was in there with her granddaughter and I got to actually meet her and visit with her and she's the one that told me, "Only God will get you through this. Only God can help you." Were you ready to hear that yet, though? I wasn't. Cuz you can say that now and I believe it. Yeah. But when you go through these different stages that you hear about, I was in such I don't know what I was in. You were in limbo mode. I wasn't in denial. Like I knew what had happened, but I I wasn't in acceptance yet. I guess you can say like I didn't I still didn't believe it. But that really resonated with me that, you know, I don't have to carry this. I don't have to try to figure it out. God's going to do all that for me. So it really did help me in the moment. Yes. That's a that's a proof of your faith too. Yes. Y So we um we stayed with his parents for about a week and let me back up. It was Sunday, gosh, probably midm morning before we ever heard from an investigator. Like that's still the crazy part. I called the corner the the next day. Sunday. Sunday because we still hadn't heard from anybody. It might have been Saturday afternoon. No, it was Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. And I said, "Listen, man." I said, "You know, when a southern guy starts with, listen, man, that's about to be a it's about to be a hard conversation." I told him, I said, "I hadn't heard from anybody. Nobody." I said, "One, I want to I'd like to know what happened to my son." Mhm. I want to know if it was only him involved. I want to know if it was other folks involved. Cuz at this point, we're still mad thinking he was drunk at a party waving a gun around. Like that's literally the only thing we were told. And he said, "Well, let me let me call the investigator." And it might have been it was less than 30 minutes. He called me back and he said, "The investigator is going to be reaching out." So he reached out or whatever and we talked and he he said it's you know 100% accident. Um he um I said what about the stuff the truck and his personal items and um he said y'all come come get it or whatever. And I had a I had a good buddy um being Clayton. He he was right there with us for us and he hooked up his trailer. Yeah. It was Sunday He was getting ready to go to church. And I called him. He said, "I'm shifting gears. He loaded hooked his trailer up and took off the States, loaded the truck up and brought it back." And uh but I asked him because I knew he'd probably he even though it was emotional time to him, I felt like him over a family member would have been better cuz he actually asked some questions and he brought back some good answers, you know, and it was indeed an accident. There were a couple of eyewitnesses that said they were just talking about handguns. One of the roommates that lived with the girls had a pink one and they were looking at it and Garen said, "Oh, my mama's always wanted one of these." But my daddy says, "You can't defend yourself with a pink weapon. You need something that's camouflaged or something that's dark." And he made the comment that he had whatever kind of handgun he had. I don't even remember at this point, but it doesn't matter, I don't guess. But um somebody else said, "Do you have it with you?" He said, "Yeah, it's in the truck. Let me go get it." And he was attempting to unload it before he handed it off and it just accidentally went off. Like his toxicology was clean. That's what the invest or the guy that talked to Ben that night said, "I want you to tell that mama because they knew I was just I was angry with him. I thought he had done something really stupid and caused this. And he said, "I want you to tell that mama that alcohol did not play a factor in this. There was no drugs." Mhm. This was just a freak accident. So then a few months later, we found out that this particular make and model, and I'm not going to say it because I don't want to get into, you know, anything legal with them, but um there was a recall on it for accidental mischarge, accidental discharge and misfire. Caught a drop fire. So it was just a freak accident. But if this would have happened three years before, our story would be totally different. But when Garen was 16, he went to youth camp. He found the Lord. Like it was really my intuition is real. Like it's it's a real thing. And um we were do he was a big baseball player. He wanted to play in college and we were spending every weekend going to all these baseball camps. Like I was doing whatever I could. You did the travel ball thing. We did all of that. But he did college dream. That's a lot of We were doing everything in our power to make his dream of playing college ball come true. Now, we didn't get we didn't get into it like some did. I mean, we kind of stayed local. Oh, okay. Cuz they got some that they'd be in Statesboro for practice on Monday and then meet us at the moon on Tuesday for the game. It wasn't quite like that. We stayed in like Georgia, Florida, Alabama, that area, but always were able to practice close to home. So, um, where was I go? Oh, yeah. So, he was leaving on a Tuesday to go to youth camp. So, that Monday morning, I was sitting there. It was during the summer. I was off doing my Bible study. And it was like God pinged me on the head and said, "You're doing everything you can to make sure he plays ball in college. What are you doing to make sure he finds me?" Like, it was loud and clear. We were churchgoers at the time, but we were churchgoers. You know, there's a big difference. Like, are you the Super Bowl u Easter and Christmas attenders or like you were a little more regular than that? See? Yeah. Christmas, Easter, and other important holidays. Mother's Day. That's right. We were We were a little more than that. So, I texted my sister. I texted my friends. I said, "God has just laid it out for me. I need y'all to pray. Like, I need y'all to pray that God moves, that God works." And Garen was starting to ask questions. Like, I felt like his heart was being prepared. And maybe that's why God dropped it so hard on me. Like, this is partially your responsibility too, mama, daddy. you know. Um well, he left going to camp and the next night he called me and he said, "Mama, it's 10:30 at night." And I was like, "Yeah." He said, "I just wanted to let you know I got saved tonight. I got saved." Like, we were in there and they were talking and I raised my hand and I went down front and I accepted the Lord and we're going out to eat. We're going to celebrate. Bye. I love you. And I was like, I just started crying. I was like, "Thank you, Lord." Like I again I felt it in my gut that that was coming. So if this would have happened before that time this would have been a totally different situation. It was really good. He said we know where he is. I could back up two years prior to that and kind of give you an idea why it was 3 years. Because like I said when we got married, church was a priority. Well, we tried one. Didn't pan out. We went to a I don't know if they consider ourselves mega church. Maybe it's a big church. I mean 1,200. It's not mega. I don't think in South Georgia a 14,000 population town. I mean 1,200 people at one at the first service and second That's a large church. Yeah, that's a large church. And we really loved it. And I still have great friends there. And I mean, some of the best mentors as far as what a believer supposed to be. And we spent eight years there. And it it got too big for me. I mean, I'm a small town guy, but we also got into travel ball. So then we spent a lot of years justifying that Sunday off. Well, we was out of town all last weekend. You know, we got to do this, we got to do that, we need to rest. And, you know, we we hit and miss church for a few years and um Garren had we we was talking about churches. We visited a couple, but then he told us that he said, "I like to go try uh Norm Park Baptist where we go now." He said, "My friends are in the youth." and said they were there's a lot of baseball players that he went there. So, um, it was like, well, heck, I spent my high school years going to Norman Park cuz that's where my best friend lived. And, well, we went, we started going, everything going good. And then CO hit. And, uh, I was just getting my feet wet and getting involved, you know, with the with the men's group, you know, going to that, seeing what they they were about. and um COVID hit, shut everything down of course and then um we get out of get out of doing stuff. Well, then when they open everything back up, we started going back to church and there was some issues within the church going on. So, I said told her, I said, "Let's just back out. You know, we're not members. We don't really have a dog in the fight right now. Let's go check out some other churches." Well, we rocked on and made plans, dropped plans, make plans, drop plans, and then we both was like, we're we're going somewhere this Sunday. So, I just I went to I listen a lot of podcast. Um, uh, Rick Burgess is one of my go-to and like I tell everybody, me and him's actually got a similar story now. he lost a child and that's kind of what brought him or being a man of Christ is what saved him when he lost that child, what kept him focused on Christ. And so I just went to pray and you know that personal relationship with Christ is one of the main things you got to do before you could take any other step. And we talked Saturday night and said we're going to church. Nobody asked where we was going. Sunday morning got up, everybody got ready. We was leaving Driver Brook said, "Where we going?" I said, "No, I'm parked." I said, "That's where God's telling me to go." And I mean, it just it popped off. Jim was a new preacher. He was actually filling in until they found one. And now he's our full-time preacher. And this be this was Jim that came to your house. Yes. He is uh I've known him for years. Uh he was in the school system for 30 something years. Great guy. Um, he had he had his whole testimony with with his faith. And so I got I mean right off the bat that first day, Steven Ramsey come up to me. He said, "Man, I'm glad you're here." He said, "Man, me and this Steven Godley, we we've been talking." And I said, "Well, I need to talk with you, too." And one of our observations is women are are like running the church. You know, that's all you see do things other than the preacher. That ain't way supposed to be. The men need to be out front. They need to be doing stuff. And uh so we started the men group and then I started meeting with Davis and his buddies, Garren and his buddies once a week. Little Bible study. I sat down and wrote a 8week series out with those tough questions for teenage boys. Mhm. you know, alcohol, sex, drugs, being a being a man of Christ, you know, just a little bit of everything, you know, that that filled your bucket, too, didn't it? Yeah. It I mean, it just it was something I kept telling her that was that's what I was my heart was going to that age group of like 15 to 25 because that is a age that men or young men get lost. Mhm. And and it's sad to say, but they stay pretty focused from 15 to 18 while they're in youth in the church if they're in the church. But once they graduate, a lot of churches don't have much for them. They're too young to go in that next Sunday school class. Nobody really has a class for them. They go off to college. They only home every few weekends. And you know the world is that that's what everybody says now to the real world. Yeah. Mhm. And then when it grabs you, it holds on tight. Mhm. And and you know, thank God that and I tell them boys, you know, I went through it and I come out the other end. You know, a lot of these boys don't and a lot of them struggle getting out of it. It's hard. Um, I mean I um I did catch a little bit of your testimony this morning. The you was under an overpass or something in Augusta and I was like I got to listen that whole thing now. Yeah. There's a three-part um three-parter where I tell my story back in January just so people that listen and the people that come on they realize I'm not just some guy from Augusta that's trying to talk about something. Um, I haven't heard much from my guy down on the end. Davis, you want to tell us a bit how you Now, this is gonna be I don't want this to sound cheesy. I don't want to say how you feeling, but um, tell me what you remember being in the back seat that night with your mom and daddy. Nothing much really. I mean, daddy came in the room, got me up, and I could tell in his face something was wrong. And his first words was, "Get up. We have to go to Statesboro. Garren's been shot in the face." And I get up, I don't know what to think. How old were you then? 16. You're 16? Yeah. And so I I get ready. I get in the truck and we're going from there. And the first thing I did was text my baseball group chat asking them to pray for us. Tell them what was going on. And I get a text from Gar, one of Garen's best friends or Darren Henry, his son, and he asked if something happened to Garren. I said he's been shot in the face. That was the only thing I could tell people. Yeah. And when we first found out, I I couldn't get him on the phone. And so I called my best friend, Harden Ree, and he was the first person I told. And then after we get up and get in the hotel, I I was the only one that was able to go to sleep. I I was the only person that was able to sleep that whole week. And mama prayed that he would sleep. Yeah. And we were I had we had a baseball game that Saturday. It was a makeup game cuz our our season was coming to an end. And I text my coach and was like, I don't know if you've heard, but I won't be at the game today. and he called me and made sure I knew if I needed anything to call him or anybody on the team and that they were there for me. And I finally got Hayden on the phone and told him and it kind of hurt me that I was the one that had to tell him. And another thing I've had a really hard time with is his truck messed up. So he drove my truck, the States, bro, and he had his AR and his pistol in his truck. And he didn't he didn't want nobody getting in his truck and messing with it. So he got them out and put him in my truck. And I just I kind of thought, what if I would have took the pistol out? Mhm. And that's been hard on me knowing the gun wasn't in there until the night before. That's But we tell him that we can go down that road all day long with what we go down four or five other roads. Mhm. That would have, should have, could have done a You know, he was 19 years old and I'm sure you remember back when you were 19 years old. I know I do. I wasn't I give you stored tilt. I was 30. Yeah. But I'm just saying 19 year old. 19y old. He was no saint. No. He was making stupid decisions. You know, I wasn't You know, I tried to be somewhat of a friend to my boys, but I'm also I'm the the daddy first. Mhm. And I told them as young teenagers, there's nothing you could do that I won't know it. And just like I tell them when I ask you a question, nine times out of 10 I already know the answer. Mhm. And um you know and I mean Gary, they was they was country boys. They were doing things that that you know country boys at 19 years old do. And I talked with them about it and I stress it's it's not a good way to go. And for the most part them boys were pretty respectful and and and you know knew right from wrong. But at 19 30 45 50 you made questionable decisions. And but I've told Davis and I believe this from the bottom of my heart. It I mean it even talks about it in the Bible is God has a plan. He's got He knows the beginning. What happened before you gave him the truck keys. That's right. And the end. And there's I don't believe there's anything we could have done to prevent this because God is in control. Yeah. And um I don't still it's hard for me to understand why this is part of his plan, but I just have to trust that he knows better than I do. And I mean I' I've been around Garen with that same gun at I mean me and his buddies round of fire or something, he'll get it out and the first thing he does is drop the clip and rack it. Mhm. And he usually puts the clip somewhere. I mean, not close. You know, you're talking about, you know, if you would have if you'd have told him, "No, I'll just keep the truck or keep the guns here." Yeah. I'll make somebody bother them. I bought in the pistol. Yeah. So, there's just lots of emotions. Yeah. And u Yeah. But it, you know, I've read and listened to to several guys and I I I have tried to make sense with all this through a biblical view. And uh Joby Martin, pastor I listened to, he he made a comment the other day that, you know, you you get these non-believers say, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" And one perspective he said was it's collateral damage from sin in the world. That that made that made a lot of sense too. Yeah. That and you one thing you can't the human side of us we have we have free will. Yeah. Right. You know we we know right from wrong. That's right. you know, and so and it wasn't like God had planned that out or orchestrated that, right, for him to go through or for you guys as a married couple to go through or for you as a sibling to go through. It's just part of y'all's story now, right? So, what tell me about this foundation that you guys started? Does this started from your immediate family? Yes, it did. We um within just a few days I told Garrett I wanted to do a scholarship like I wasn't able to think about anything but I wanted to do a scholarship. He said yeah I thought about that too. So as we the days rock on I think it was about a week later I said you know I don't want to do just a scholarship. Garren was more than just a scholarship. We had so many strangers. I'm not people that we knew of but we didn't know that were his age that reached out to us about how he helped them through a hard time. Like his thing was this is the other side of your children you don't know when they're not. Exactly. Exactly. So his motto in life was trust God's will. Like a girl that he helped had a ring made that says um God's will. M and um he had a friend that was going through a hard time. He had met this guy through school, but he worked at Subway and Garren ate at Subway just about every day so he could go see Big Bird and hang out. And he had been through a really hard time and was talking about ending it. And he reached out to me after this happened and said, "You have no idea, but Garren saved my life." Like he told me that God had a purpose for my life. He still reaches out to us really and that he has a plan. Garren got a baseball scholarship to play ball on his own. We found out the day before we were going to sign the lease on his apartment that he had to have surgery. And I was devastated cuz here since he was 5 years old, he wanted to pitch in college. And he himself had made this dream of his come true. And I felt like it was being ripped away. And he was 6'5. He towered over me. And we were in the kitchen and he put his hands on my shoulder. So he's like this to me and um he said, "Mama, what have you told me my whole life?" I said, "I don't know. I've told you a bunch of stuff, Garen." He said, "You've always told me that God has a plan for me and we have to trust his plan." Well, now I see why he had that surgery. God gave us eight more months with him at home. So his heart was more than just a scholarship. He was a helper. He was kind. Um, so I said, I think we should start like an organization. So we rocked on for a couple of days and we came up with the name Garren's Grace Wins because we wanted GW, his initials, to be part of it. So, um, we looked at going through the baseball program and we looked at going through the high school, but if you go under a nonprofit, they're kind of in control of, you know, I'm I'm recovery is a nonprofit where it goes. Yeah. So, we have went through baseball, anything would have had to go to baseball. Right. Right. And we I said, you know, Garren, baseball was a huge part of his life, but he was more than a baseball player. Mhm. So on April the 30th, now he passed away on March 28th, so this rolled very quickly. On April the 30th, Garren's Grace Winds nonprofit was established and incorporated and um we have given out $13,000 in scholarships. Now, do you how do you pick the students you're giving it to? And are you do they have to use it or be baseball players or anything like that? No. this first group cuz Garen just graduated last year. So this first group of kids we selected on our own. It was his best friends. Um we will eventually have a process where you apply and you know um not us picking on a bias level I guess you can say but we knew that we wanted the paw bears to have something. um Chandler that did CPR. We wanted to do something for her. His girlfriend Ada, we wanted to do something for her. Um our niece was a recipient, but we've given out we even did past graduates that was friends with him that are in college that are in college already. So um we've given out 10 Chromebooks. Wow. We have we've done a lot already through this foundation and and the money does not have to go toward a certain I mean one of them he didn't he chose not to go to college um he had his own little business so helping him exactly exactly in whatever he chose to do. That's right. Right. I love that. And Garen, I don't think he even realized it, but he was the hands and feet of Jesus. Like he helped people. There was over 1,200 people that came through the visitation. We had his service at Heritage Church, which was the big church that we used to attend because that was the only place that would hold everybody. And I heard that there was people standing up in there. Like he had such a huge impact on people. And this is this foundation is our way of keeping his name alive and his legacy alive. And our um kind of motto is to be the hands and feet of Jesus and meet needs. It could be medical bill needs. You know, it could be there's been a couple of children that have passed away in our hometown. You know, we've helped with funeral expenses and things like that. Um we're going to run our ministries through it. you know, we want to do a joint like youth. She wants to do a women's thing. I want to I want me and my guys to to run our ministry for these young boys through it. Yeah. If Recovery B Collective can help with anything guys come through that have an issue, we'd love to help. Yeah. Through all of this that we're not promised tomorrow. I knew that. I don't think you realize it until it's a keychain catchphrase until you live at this area. Lose your 19year-old child. Like we all assume we're going to graduate, we're going to go to college, we're going to get married, we're going to have family, we're going to live to be old, we're going to bury our parents. Like parents never expect to have to bury their child. So, um, salvation is important. like it, you know, I just want to say if there's anybody that don't know the Lord, like this time is of essence. Yeah. And it's very important. One thing that you mentioned about um Garen, let me ask you this. Where did the name Garen come from? Out of a baby book. Out of a baby book. Yes. Um his daddy has a G Joe name. Garrett is Garrett Joe. So we wanted a G Joe for Garen. Okay. So, we were in Walmart one night. We couldn't agree on any names and um I was just flipping through and I said, "Garen," he said, "Yep, I like it." And so, there came the name. Yeah. Well, I love that. Um I knew it was that's just not a common name, right? So, but I do, you know, before we close, I have to talk about what sparked me to reach out to you. um was when that video when Kristen, my wife, sent me that video, we had just went through this exact same thing with with her first cousin Natalie who's married to a guy named Jeremy. Yeah. And I was like, as soon as she sent me your your your video that went viral on Tik Tok, I said, "Send me her information." And I wasn't going to tell her what I was going to do, but I was going to reach out to you only to connect you with Natalie at first. But then I said, "No, I need to connect you with the world and Natalie will be a part of that world because Natalie um is is still fresh in that loss. Um she's still dealing with all the things and she does really good. Jeremy does really good." And their older son car um William was there with Carter when his accident happened with a pistol. Was I I I didn't remember if he had a sibling or not. He's got two. He's got a little sister and he's got a little brother. And uh I think the I think his brother was at home with him when he when he he was but he was on the he was on the gun club. So I mean he wasn't he would not just um not knowing what he was doing. You know what I mean? It was a free will thing accident. Um, but I thought it was so um I thought it was so cool that that y'all's stories were that similar to each other. And then come to find out, you guys kind of know each other through, you know, friends and family and mutual stuff. And so you guys have now connected and all that. And I think the biggest thing my wife, she she she texted me, it just went off, but it was my wife. Um, but she texted me like, "You've got to say these things." And um, and I already knew these things. I just didn't want to tell her to give her the I know you're right, but I know what I'm doing. But I had to say that um, we went to the hospital the night that we got the call. We were at dinner and we got a call that there was an accident. And the guy that called, I called him back and I said, "Look, I just need you to go ahead and tell me how bad is this accident so that I can prepare for the family that I got on this side." Um, and he said, "It's not good. He didn't make it." I said, "Okay." That's what I needed to hear. So, we got we got down to the hospital and Kristen, I was able to tell my wife what she was about to walk into. Um, and I've seen both or all three of you guys get upset when you had to talk about delivering that information to someone. It's important on who you are and when you who's receiving that information from who. But um but walking into the hospital tonight, we were able because someone was transparent enough to just tell us what we needed to hear. We could go in there and be support right for for them and they were lost. I mean, I remember taking my hat off and throwing it on the ground and I looked at Jeremy with these big eyes and the only thing he said was that um he said, "My son went to be with the Lord today." And I was like, "Well, I'll never forget that." Mhm. As long as I live. And that was his way of telling me he was gone. He was gone, but he wasn't mad. Mhm. He wasn't happy. And then the next day, uh, was very fresh, you know, day one of starting over, right? And I went to their house and just like you said, everybody, there's a slew of people that come through and if you never want to miss a meal, go to somebody's house after something that happens. I mean, there's food out everywhere. But Jeremy brought me upstairs and I had only been in their house like one other time upstairs and he said, "I want to show you Carter's room." And I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't ready for it. And um Carter, just like Garen, touched a lot of people's lives and the amount of time they had here, but in good ways, just by being themselves, just like you just said. But I looked at his room and I was like, there ain't no way an 18, 19 year old boy lives in this room. He had a he had a post-it notes on his door in the shape of a cross with different scriptures and people he was praying for. I work at a church and I barely make enough notes out of my Bible once a week and this kid's got it listed. Yeah. He he had a desk that was in the dormer of a window and his gun rack was behind him and he had his Bible laid open like you knew that's where he sat at in the morning times and that's where he sat at the night times and he read his Bible. He had post-it notes on the wall in front of him with people's names on it and then in a notebook. I mean how he was going to pray, not just about what he was going to pray but just how he how he had articulated it. It spoke spoke volumes to me um of how impactful we can be for children. I've got two different boys at home and I've raised them the exact same way. One's gone this way and one's going this way for right now, but it's temporary. Yeah. But it's impactful that they figure themselves out in that free will state that we'll all deal with. But these accidents can happen. They can. Now, the the other big point that I wanted to bring you on this podcast for was um when we're we're in recovery, you guys are now in some kind of recovery. That's right. But you also made a commitment to yourself and each other, you made a vow. Yeah. Um, at any point after that accident or at any point up till today, did you guys sit down and what words did you say or or do you remember where you were when you knew that or maybe if your relationship is already this strong you had to had the conversation about your marriage cuz I imagine some marriages go under strain when these kind of things happen. I could be wrong. We pulled over that night on the side of the road and we all because Davis was sitting behind me. I was trying to like touch him in some way, you know. I was trying to touch Garrett. We were looking for a place to pull over and um again, I don't remember a lot of details, but I do remember this specifically. The divorce rate is high for people who have lost a child. How I know that statistic, I don't know, but I I knew that before this even happened. Do you remember if it was over 50%. Yes, it's like 95 or 90. Like the same thing with addiction. Yes. It is astronomical. And I remember when we all got out of the truck and we were all embraced, I said, "We have to stay together through this." And I looked at Garrett and I said, "The odds are against us. We're already one statistic. The odds are against us. We cannot let Satan win. And and there's been time like our grief is totally different. And I can see I mean we've had a tough conversation two weeks ago. Yep. Two weeks ago. Um not like about ending our marriage or anything, but just my grief has been totally different. And sometimes I've questioned my faith like am I really? because it's six months in and I'm still not okay. But there is no timeline. A mom's love and connection with a kid is a especially with a son, right? Different, right? And you know, I look at and that's what I tell my guys and and and the young men. Garren lived 19 great years. The rest of his life from 19 on, he's going to he would experience a lot of bad things in this world. Mhm. Marriage problems if he got married, job problems, financial problems, dealing with grownup stuff in this crazy world. He missed all that. And it's hard to say this, but I'm thankful for that because I know it's been hard on our parents seeing us struggle. And I You don't want to see your child struggle. No, you don't. And you know, I could tell her how I'm handling this, what I go to, who I talk to. Might not work for her. Yeah. No, it shouldn't. You're totally different person. Yeah. And I did seek out a Christian coun or Christian therapist that I've been seeing for a while now. And she told me, she said, "You've got a decision to make. You've got to decide. Are you going to die with Garen or are you going to live for him and for you and for your family?" And that was really impactful because I was I I've been there for Davis, but I feel like looking back now, I was going through the motions for Davis, but the last two weeks since she put it to me that way have been a lot better for me and of course with prayer and Yeah. And one little thing that she may not feel like she's fulfilling her wife duty or her mother duty or whatever. that was starting to weigh on her cuz I was struggling with that for sure. And she talked to me about I said, "But listen, I don't care. That all that junk right there is nothing compared to us just being here for each other." Mhm. You just got to let me know what I need to be here for, what I need to pray for. Yeah. And I think that was two week that was on the six month mark when all of this kind of came out Sunday evening. And honestly, I don't think we've really had that convers that kind of conversation since this happened. So, I think that was a lot of it, too. You know, like I don't want to put my grief on other people. He didn't want to put his grief on me, but like we were able to just sit down, cry, and just get it all out. Well, and I hope being here today gives you guys a little bit Yes. more freedom to have those conversations. And like I told her, I said, "This is something cuz this is completely different." Yeah. This is what a lot of people would do at 6 months. When I told her that night when we was talking, I said, "This is something I've told myself over and over again to help me get through it." I said, "It might not you." I said, "But it's probably going to be the harshest thing I'm going to tell you. He's gone." Mhm. There's no mount of crying, no amount, you can yell at God, you could praise God, you can do whatever. Nothing we do is going to bring him back. So, we can run to him or run from him. Mhm. It's going to feel better running to him. And I've lived without him. It wasn't great. Mhm. So, I'm going to live for him. I love that. What um as we kind of close up, I want to make sure that you've got Natalie's number and you've got Jeremy's number. And do you have um Williams number? They haven't They haven't connected yet. Yeah. William, you and William need to connect. Just that's You guys got more than just one thing in common. That club, too. Yep. Yep. I just think it's important for you to surround yourself with people like that. But, um, I want to say I am so proud of each and every one of you for saying yes to coming all the way to Dallas um to do this. Um, don't don't look at it as like you just, you know, shared with the world the trouble you've had to go through. You shared with the world what you what you've done because of your son Garren and what and what he's done because of you. Garrett, if you guys started scholarships, um, you've started now legacies. So legacies will change because of Garen. And that's a lot of people that that' be 100 won't won't make that. impact. So you guys got to be really proud. Our foundation is Garren's Grace Wins, but then like our little slogan is leave a legacy. Yeah. Yeah. That's how this that's that's how I got to this. I prayed during 21 days of prayer, Lord, I just want to leave a legacy one day. What kind what kind of legacy am I going to leave right with a story like mine? What can I do to change somebody's life that you know what can I do? And it that's how I got to this book. That's how I got to this podcast studio. That's how I got to sit here on this chair with you guys. Our mission is to spread the word of God, bring others to Jesus, and love like Garen. Yeah. Well, I am again, I'm very proud. I am very honored to have you guys come by the Recovery Val podcast and share what different kinds of recovery looks like.