From Prison Cells to Helping Millions: Jon’s Journey of Faith & Recovery | The Recovery Vow Podcast

In this inspiring episode of The Recovery Vow Podcast, Eric sits down with "Recovery Jon," a social media influencer and advocate who turned a life of trafficking, addiction, and arrests into a platform that reaches millions.

Jon opens up about the childhood trauma that severed his connection with God at age 12, leading to an anger-filled adolescence and a spiral into opiate addiction. He shares the harrowing reality of the opioid epidemic—from trafficking drugs across state lines to staring down the barrel of a gun and feeling nothing but apathy.

Together, they discuss the moment of surrender in a holding cell that changed everything, the power of the 12 steps, and how Jon used social media to show the world that recovery is possible. This conversation is a powerful testament that no matter how far you fall—even if you end up in a jail cell instead of Yankee Stadium—God’s plan for your life is bigger than your past.

On This Episode:
• The childhood trauma that led Jon to stop praying for years
• From baseball dreams to the nightmare of opiate trafficking
• The "gun to the head" moment and the apathy of addiction
• The jail cell realization: "This is not Yankee Stadium"
• How posting a "before and after" photo launched a movement
• Finding a "spiritual bank account" and rebuilding self-worth
• The full-circle moment of standing in center field at Yankee Stadium

Connect with Jon: 
TikTok/Socials: @RecoveryJon

Connect with us:
Socials: @‌RecoveryVow
Website: http://recoveryvow.com
Email: recoveryvow@gmail.com

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• Transcript

  Hey, thank you guys so much for joining us on the Recovery Val podcast. Today I've got a new friend that's going to join us here on Riverside. Uh I'm in Augusta, Georgia, and I think my friend John is visiting from Am I saying Merles Inlet? Am I saying that right, John? Yeah, I'm visiting Merles Inlet right now. Yeah. Um and so John and I are going to hang out. We're going to talk about his his story. We're going to talk about his his struggle in addiction. We'll talk about his story in recovery and just give you guys uh a glimpse inside of his life, but using this platform to just reach people because of his testimony, because of his story, and because of his recovery. So, sit back, listen, and uh please reach out to us. I know that John will give us contacts uh on how he can be of service to you uh that may be still out there in addiction and for you that for you that are in recovery. All [music] [music] right. Hey, John. Thanks for joining us on the Recovery Bound podcast. Um, I'm Eric. I'm the host. I've I've been in recovery for 16 years, going on 16 years. And, um, my drug of choice was uh I was I was a brown liquor man and and a crack and a and a cocaine man. Um, it was it was my thing. But today, I want to talk to you, man, and just give you the floor and you just share with us all the wisdom that you have. I will say that I had to go stalk you a little bit. So, I'm I'm looking at your TikTok and and you are I don't know if you meant to be this, but you are now an influencer uh on many levels. Um, so yeah, man. Take us take us through some of this that I'm I'm looking at. Absolutely. Um, yeah. I mean then I never never planned to be that for sure. Um I've never wanted to or planned it, but I'm grateful for where I'm at today. Uh my name is John. I grew up in Connecticut. I'm 35. I got sober March 3rd, 2019, so over 6 and 1/2 years sober. Congratulations. Thank you, man. I'm grateful for every day. Uh yeah, man. I grew up just think a god following kid. Very good kid. No trouble. I hated drugs, hated addicts. I was very ignorant to addiction. Like couldn't believe my dad smoked cigarettes. hated alcohol. Just the opposite of of what I became. Um, you know, my goal was to be a New York Yankee. That was I grew up going to games. It was just in my in my heart. I figured I love the game. I'm good at it. Everyone says I could do it. [snorts] Um, you know, played a lot of serious ball and practiced. I used kind of like my little addict crackhead [snorts] sense to to practice. Like all I did was was practice more than anyone. I would be in the snow. I was just like upset stood all the time. Um, and family. and my brother and my two parents. Um things went great until I was 12. Uh things took a turn. You know, we were middle class, but just the way he picks. You know, my parents worked, went to church, had everything we needed. Weren't rich, weren't poor, somewhere in the middle. And uh I was like, life is great. God is good. And I thought God was good because of how I saw life should be. And it was going that way. Um at the age of 12, I watched my friend's dad fall in front of me playing paintball and die. um had his fourth ma massive heart attack and like I never prayed again from there. Um the next couple years I got to stop you right there. Tell me tell me tell me what happened in that moment. You said that a friend his dad passed away while you guys were playing paintball. Yeah. So we had like probably 20 kids in the core living here in Connecticut. Um and so we had two chapels. So, one dad played on each team and basically he was walking back with me to our like base in between two games or whatever and he fell. So, I like tripped. So, I laughed and I was like, "Haha." I tried to get my hand up and he like stayed face down. Um I guess it was third or fourth massive heart attack. Um he passed away in that moment. Um I found out later, but um just traumatic at 12, you know, calling 911, the other dad having me like give him CPR while I'm holding his legs up. a situation I told just was not prepared for. [clears throat] Did you say that that that's when you stopped praying? [snorts] Yeah. After that, I just I didn't pray till I got sober ever again. Wow. You know, I kind of blamed God. I was like, damn, life is supposed to be good in my eyes. Like, why would this happen? My friend was there. I had to watch it. You know, it was traumatic. Um, and that was my first bout with like trauma, death, like [snorts] you know, I couldn't understand, you know, contemplating what life is about, what's after life, just heavy thoughts for a young kid. Yeah, that is that is heavy. And a lot of kids, um, a lot of us, [gasps] I say kids, I'm talking to me and you. Um, we we've deal with something some kind of trauma happens. Um, and I'm not hanging addiction on that, but it's like it unlocks something in here, right? And up here that kind of puts us in a in in a new driver's seat. Exactly. Yeah. And then the next 3 years just more trauma. Ruptured my spleen on a trampoline. I was in the ICU for a week, landed on it, and they had no padding. So like that was kind of near death for me. And I was like I went through that myself of like almost you know asking people in the hospital in ICU like am I going to die? Um and [clears throat] then a week later going back in the ICU for my throat closing cuz of ano and that's why my spleen was swollen. I just didn't know it. Um missed my first freshman year baseball season. So just felt like I was like dodging life and death, you know, kind of like a a PTSD attitude after that. Yeah. [snorts] So uh when did do you remember the first time using? So the first thing I noticed even I always say using um it sounds crazy was like anger before drug. So for 4 years until I used [snorts] um I control or get out of self by putting my head through a wall, punching walls through my door. If something didn't go the way I saw it should I see fit, then like I'm going to cause havoc. Um later at 17 when I realized, you know, baseball's out the window cuz I was grades failing and stuff is when I finally said, "Okay, I'll drink. I'm a kid. You know, we're all drinking with girls tonight. I'll have a few." And once I took a sip, I was like, "Here we go." Um that was like the anger but controlled. Um yet for me down the road, I became an opiate addict because alcohol I would just be a disaster. I mean the parties in high school, I should have known I was an alcoholic then. Um, everyone was having fun, you know, and I always say I was like sleeping with my best friend's girlfriend, beating my other best friend up, I'm crying, someone else is crying. Like, I would just drink to oblivion, man. Man, I when we started this, I said, I want you to walk me through and and and kind of put me in the in the room and the situation. But when you when you have those kind of stories, um, we can don't take us in that room with you, but but I mean, but take us there like tell tell me some of the some of the worst worst moments in your addiction. So people hear this and they they realize and how they can connect with John. Um, because people just think that, you know, they've done the worst. Yeah. Yeah. So that's like the basic. I mean, then try a little weed and stuff, whatever. Thought it was boring. Um, I'm 35. So, I was in high school in '08 and was my senior year and the opiate epidemic really kicked off. Um, [snorts] I hurt my leg, my friend hurt his hip. We were both like big prospects for baseball. Realized at least for now that shot and we got into opiates, mainly oxycottton at first. Um, and while touching the depths, you know, I try not to go too war story, but like people do need to understand that like you didn't do it worse. Someone's always done it worse. Um Oh, for sure. I traffic drugs for many years. At 18, I would be instead of in school. I was trafficking tons of amounts from, you know, Queens and Brooklyn back into Connecticut. And my parents thought I was like at a girlfriend's house. Um dealing with gangs. Um you know, I'd be dope sick every single morning. For the next 18 to 28, I got arrested seven times. I've been seven detox centers. I've been jumped. um my lungs would be failing and wheezing due to you know the way I sniffed heroin or whatever was whatever was in I guess fanol at the end started to mess with my my lungs um it just couldn't really have gotten worse um yeah warrants in Connecticut New York at the same time facing a minimum of 4 years and it just felt like this snowball that every time it seemed I should get better instead I kept going it got way worse. How did you get how did you get pulled into uh trafficking? So, it's a really bad situation. Uh I had to kind of deal with this with God when I got sober, but like I said, I was a really good kid. I had really good friends. We're all big athletes. Um because of those drinking crazy years, um my parents would have to be called to parties in high school. My good friends right away were like, "You just can't be around anymore. Like, every time you're around, you drink. you terrorize someone's house or beat one of us up. Um, so I got with the wrong crowd. Um, I had no older brothers. I just had my younger brother, but a lot of them had older brothers and a bad crowd. Um, and they were already into like they were big time dealers in like Northeast and Connecticut. Um, and they had one of them had just connections in like College Point, Queens and other parts in the city. So once twice we went for a ride and then they were like, "Yo, you and my younger brother can do this and we'll give you, you know, hook you up, throw your little on the side." So we started doing it for them and then we started selling. So then we just grabbed for both of us. Mhm. And then other people would have us just move it, you know what I mean? Hundreds or thousands of pills need to go from here to there. U so yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I never got in into uh into that, but I would [clears throat] I guess, you know, part of the question is that people do decide to do things like that for um to cover the their cost of of what you know what they're going to be using um their own their own supply, I guess, for I would have done it and you didn't have to pay me. Just pay me in what I needed to to to just, you know, give myself the drug that I needed. You know what I mean? Yeah, like definitely like in the beginning it was money because I was like, well, I'm never making it to the Yankees now. Uh, and then you become an addict and like you said, now that's how I'm supporting my habit. Um, and really and even in the beginning it was still the addiction that made me do it. I mean, if you look at what we do today, I hope millions like I would never do something to hurt someone. Um, but your morals just get destroyed in addiction, you know? Oh, yeah. Hey, whenever you were when you were when you were doing that and and kind of in that life, um, do you feel like what really what really sent it over the edge? Was it because the baseball career went away? Was it the anger? Um, what do you feel like really just pushed you to just go that direction? That's a really good question. I would say mainly just be the first part just spiritually unfit, you know, the that dealing with that daily battle like when's the next shoe going to drop? Plus, I had ADHD that I wasn't medicated for. Um, so I had like high anger. I felt like I needed to keep myself like in a shell. I knew I couldn't control my emotions. But for me, like opiates worked amazing, especially oxygen PTSD from most things. Um, it would calm me down and actually focus me a I just happened to ruin my life at the same time and put me in rooms I should never be in. But um a mix of that and then just yeah like I resented God. I was like I got to do this on my own. Like God ain't going to do it. So I got protect myself with staying high so I feel comfortable. Do you feel like even six years in cuz six years I mean you've hit a good milestone. You hit that one year then you hit that five years. So you're you're trucking along at six and a half years. You're doing great. I know for me like I had a I had a good bit of um fronted to me uh is I guess the best way to say and I was uh really worried you know when I first got in recovery about you know running back into anybody is was there a certain fear that you carried with you in that first you know few months few years when you got out of that lifestyle and into this new lifestyle um were you worried? Absolutely. Um, yeah. [snorts] I mean, there's people, uh, there was one guy that I still I would have made a mention to him and pay him, but I've never seen him. He was just, you know, some gang banger from the Midwest. Um, I don't even know what I beat him for. But everyone else I mainly kept up with. You know, I knew I owed some people in town some money. I tried to keep my street clean. And most of the people I dealt with didn't let that happen. You know, I remember one time having a gun to my head um because I just did all the perks instead of selling them. And this dude had me in a gas station and he was kind of like, "I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Like, where is like what are you going to do to get the money?" I was like, "Relax, relax." And I guess he could just tell. I wasn't I had no fear. I didn't care at this point about life. It was toward towards the end of addiction. And he just decided to put a gun in my head and he was like, "Do you realize how serious this is? Like, I'll take your life right now." Um, I remember looking down the barrel just looking at him saying, "Do you think I care? Do what you got to do, man." Um, and he seemed more scared of that. I mean, he was three times the size of me. He just seemed frustrated like this dude really doesn't give a [  ] Um I didn't I was like you don't want to be in my shoes man. Life sucks. Um so I understand those like those lows of addiction you know. Was that one of the u would you say that was one of the scariest moments in your addiction? In a way I really didn't care too much. I it did it did shake me a little. I was like this is getting real. Like damn. Like I didn't realize how real this was getting. Um, yeah, this it sounds like you're making a movie at this point. I mean, or their movie the movie could be made. Yeah. So, it was like this is getting real. Um, and I wanted to live. I was never suicidal. But I'm sure you can relate when you get that real rock bottom spiritually of addiction. You really don't care. You're like one way I got to get sober or die. This is just I don't want this anymore. Um, that was the honest feeling I had. Yeah. I looked at him and I was like whatever, bro. Like I'd like to live tonight, but if not, whatever. like I just want this addiction to stop. So [snorts] yeah, when that guy was holding the gun, [clears throat] did you ever think about hurting yourself at any point during your addiction? And the only reason I did I tried I think I don't know like they say I don't have the balls to do it. some people said I feel like maybe that was me like you know I mean maybe with the drugs but um actually doing it I think I just knew life was precious you know from seeing my uncle I mean my friend's dad passed away I think that's all young I knew I was blessed to be here I just didn't know how to get out of my own way for lack of better words. Yeah. No I get it. Yeah. Well let's let's shift gears just a little bit. I mean, because we, you know, I told you like kind of pre-in before we hit record is, you know, it's important for people to hear, you know, some of the dark and um some of the addiction so that they can relate to us and kind of understand that, you know, a man your age, a man my age, you know, we we made decisions that put us in certain situations, whether it was in a gas station bathroom with a gun to your face or, you know, suicidal and just feeling worthless. I think that would be a common denominator for everyone is we just feel worthless in addiction. But I mean, I want to shift gears and just kind of go into the moment that you just found a reason to make the decision to get sober. What What was that that day like? What did it look like? And walk us through like every moment of that day because it's a big day when people choose like people choose sobriety all the time. It's the people that choose to stay in it is is the the hard part, you know. I mean, people are choosing sobriety right now when they're listening to this, but you chose it and you stayed in it. So, tell us the day you chose it, and then we'll talk in a minute about staying in it. Absolutely. Um, yeah, like I always say, anyone can get sober, but not anyone can stay sober. It's two different games. Um, the big the big one for me, you know, I tried in those seven years, like I said, in and out of rehab, the last four years in and out of AA, but the moment I made the decision inside of myself, um, I got arrested. um some dumb charges. I was honestly driving two girls. I told them I'm going to get arrested. I felt it in God. Like I knew I didn't have the balls to ask for help again from my parents or from anyone. Even though everyone knew I was struggling, um I just didn't want to face it to myself or anyone else. But I I knew death or sobriety was getting very close. Things were getting very ugly again. And um I took a drive, drove these two girls down the road to a club with my other friend. And I remember joking with them like I'm going to get arrested if I drive through there. And like, "Haha, John, you're so funny." And my friend was with me. He knew me very well. And he just didn't even laugh. And he was like, "Oh, boy." I got pulled over by like an undercover um drug agency in New York. I had some drugs on me. I had that's when I had warrants in Connecticut and New York for other arrests. I never showed up on. Uh they took me in jail and you know, unmarked cars like um dudes with vests on like uh what do you call it? Um undercovers. And um they were telling me the whole way like we've been looking for you like you're [  ] Like I said whatever man. Um in a way I've never felt like so much joy. Like in my stomach I was like all right what's going to be live? I'm going to get sober. Like this will force me basically. Uh and I was sitting in the holding cell and I just remember like looking around and I had this realization at like bro 4 a.m. in a holding cell like this is not Yankee Stadium. Um you know I really I looked at the ceiling the wall everything and I was like it's I surrendered. I was like, "You you can't do this by yourself. You're going to need help." Um, and you can't use safely. Like, I was the first time I was I hate when people like be honest with other people. Like, you know, be honest with yourself. I finally [snorts] said to myself, uh, I can't use or drink like other people. It's that simple. Like, I got to give up. Um, so something funny happened with some money. Um, I had a bunch of cash, could bail myself out. They put it into a like ATM machine where where it becomes your commissary. Mhm. And I saw the guy doing I know whose money it was and I asked him. I was like, "What are you doing?" And he's like, "Oh, I'm putting your money in for commissary." And I like snapped on him. I was like, "I just saw the judge cuz I had a bunch of warrants." They had to like call the judge for him. And he did give me a bail. And I was like, "Bro, I'm using that for bail." And he's like, "Oh, I thought you weren't getting bail." And then I was like, "Well, take it out." And he was, "I can't. We got to send you a check." And so I was forced to call my parents to ask for help. And that was God pushing me to um [snorts] well, actually, I didn't ask for help. I said, "Just leave me here." And they weren't I knew they weren't going to be happy. And sure enough, they came back a couple minutes later and they like actually get him ready to go. His parents are coming. I was like I was more scared of them. I was like, "Yeah, now I got to face this shit." [clears throat] Yeah. You got to go back home and live with them like under their watch or care. Yeah. I always lived with them mostly. There was years in the city or somewhere else, but um thankfully, you know, they were they were always they were sick of me, but when I was ready, they were ready. They were like, "Okay, you need help again, obviously." And just a simple process as usual. Went to detox, went to rehab, started to listen to everything. Um, found my way to AA. Things just got easier quick, man. Really really quick. What um when you think back to that that last time in jail, was would you say that that that time in jail was your [clears throat] some people call it rock bottom, some people call it moment of clarity, however you want to look at it. Was that that moment for you? Was was that that last stand in jail a rock bottom? And and and or was getting out like, okay, this is my moment of clarity. This is when I make the decision to stay in it. [snorts] It was a mix of both. It was that clarity of like I really need to take this seriously. Um because I've been touching AA, touching rehab, you know, and I would always halfass everything. I would be like, I'll go to a meeting but I won't do the steps. I'll go to rehab but I won't go to it was always like and I was like this is serious, bro. You got to do this to live. What did you do that that made it stick this time? Did you work the steps or something? Or did you Yeah, everything. Um that was actually like Have you ever seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey? I just mentioned that today on my recovery vow collective call with with coaching and I mentioned Yes, man. You know, we were talking about making amends. Yeah. And I became open-minded. I was like that's how I got to live. Like basically I went to my first rehab. I walked in this big ghetto black dude with the word Brooklyn t across his neck like five times size me looked at me. He's like you never want to be here again. And I was like 21 is the plan. I was like hope not. And he was like just do what everyone else says cuz like your decisions got you here at the age of 21. it's not too good. Um, and that just clicked and I was like, I just got to be open-minded and willing like to talk about. So, in rehab, I mean, who wants yoga today? Yeah, I'll go. Who wants to pray? Yeah, I'll pray. Who wants an extra meeting? Yeah, I'll do it. I just started taking on everything. Um, so I went to rehab. Uh, AA, my sponsor always said, pray. And I had that big wall from God from the early stuff. Yeah. And, uh, the second I got on my knees, I started praying, the obsession to drink and use went away. I did the steps. Um, I did everything thoroughly and rapidly things started to get better, you know. How long did it take you to go through the steps and and I I guess you you paced yourself for me? I I kind of I did step one, two, and three and I had to go to impatient treatment and I probably did the steps over I don't know maybe nine months. Yeah, I did like four months pretty quick. My sponsor is like about not waiting. He's a pretty tough Yeah. moving quick guy. So he's like, "You're either going to get this or not." And he's big on like, "This is a solution, so get it done." Um, so we didn't rush, but I had a lot of free time early soiety, so we would meet sometimes, you know, a couple times a week. That's good. Um, and I already spent 4 years in an NAA, so I kind of knew what was going on. You know, [snorts] the the going and working with a sponsor. Some people will will do that, you know, they'll go through a 12step program, and I believe in 12step programs. I I believe in all the programs that have been created. It's it's just the people have to find the one that works for them. But um do you remember going through the steps and and was there a certain step along the way that that that you didn't make it past before that you're like I'm just going to stop right here. Sometimes people say the fourth step we have, you know, start making that fear. Is it fearless and moral inventory? like do you remember where you stopped at prior to and and do you feel like getting over that hurdle in recovery is what is another key thing that may have helped out? Yeah. Um definitely like through three and four like giving my life to a higher power. I really struggled with that and I think a little my OCD my I was like I need Jesus to walk in the room to believe it. And my sponsor is like bro no one's had that. That's why it's faith so believe. And then four, I just a lot of things I didn't want to look at, you know, the things I had done. Um, I remember that's what really changed my my psychic change the rest of my life. Um, I remember doing it. I looked at all the shitty things I had done. All the people I was mad at and my and I said, "Wait a minute." To my sponsor, I was like, "So, if I don't do all this, 90% of these problems will go away." He was like, "Yeah." And I just remember clicking in that moment like, "Lord, I could do that. stop terrorizing everything and drinking and using and uh that's happened. I've had some major obstacles in in sobriety. Um which has made me who I am today in recovery, John. But all those crazy dumb problem just went away very quickly. Do you ever think when you got sober you'd be a a a writer and a speaker and a rehab outreach coach? I mean, tell me tell me how I mean because I'm looking at your TikTok right now and I mean, man, you're you're you're doing great, John. I appreciate it. How did you get to this point in six years? I mean, because that's a lot. I mean, so God's almost got your higher power's got a great plan for you for you to have um this kind of influence already. How did you get to this point? Just just just God. I feel like people shy away from hard times. I've been beaten up by hard times and it makes me be better. Like pressure makes diamonds. Um everything I have and do today has come from the 12 steps and from things I've been through. So um before it was this brand and recovery John and reaching millions. Um I was a year sober and I could see the impact I had just in family. Like the people that helped me were seeing my glow and they were like how [clears throat] you doing? You're just killing it in life. You're just they used to call me Gandhi and Jo. And I was like, "Well, that's scary." Cuz I tried to I tried to uh one time I tried to plan to kidnap the CEO of one of my rehabs cuz he messed up with my parents [laughter] my parents' credit cards. So that was my sober minded 30 days. I remember my dad looking at me like, "Are you even sober?" And I was like, "You're playing kidnaps. You're not there yet." Yeah. I was like, "I'm not on drugs, but I'm not sober in my mind." Um and I remember I came up with this thing with my sponsor. He told me about a spiritual bank account and it was like the more good you do basically the more better you feel. Um because I couldn't find ways to be happy cuz I wasn't doing anything for myself. I was staying sober. I did the steps. My life got great and like everyone asked me on TikTok like what about the boredom? I was just playing video games chilling like so [snorts] I built myself during co into the best version of myself. I would pray, meditate, all day just positive things to build myself up and in my so my 3 days after my one year is when the world shut down for co and I did that and then in July one week three of my friends died in a week um from overdose so two were just rehab friends so it was kind of whatever I came from a life where everyone was dropping like fives very sad but it wasn't like I've dealt with that 100 times it wasn't like a two, it started to be like, "Oof, that's a lot." After the second one, like there people I really care for. And the third was my best friend from childhood that broke his hip that I started drugs with. Um, he took a pill that was his annex and it was pressed fatal and died in his front yard actually in North Carolina. He moved down there. [snorts] Wow. Um, I'm sorry, John. I appreciate it. Um, so all my things have come from hard things. So at this point, I think I'm electrician trying to get my life together. Nothing felt right. I knew God had something for me. Uh, you know, I saw dreams of like my friends would joke like try walk on to a baseball team or something, but I was like realistically no one's giving me big money to play baseball at this age. Like, um, and I was in crazy shape and everything, but I knew just God had a plan and, uh, I called my sponsor. I was going to relapse. Uh, this is too much, man. Like, a lot of death. The world shut down. Like, it's a lot for early sobriety. And he was like, I'm going to tell you like step 12, help other people. And I was like, "Well, how do I do that for my mom and dad's my my room's quarantined in my parents house at 28 years old." He's like, "Pray on it." Those are your two answers. Um I was like, "Thanks, bro. You suck." [laughter] I was like, [clears throat] "This sucks." But I prayed on it. I cried. I remember crying, praying. Um everyone was at work. I went for a run, shirt off. It was like a hot July day. Um and it just struck me. Um you know, and this is before influencers. So, it's funny you said that. I spoke last night on on another big thing and uh I was talking about I never I'm not a big social media person um personally before this I like to be private never envision this uh but God put the vision in me like use social media people are afraid to ask for help like just give them liberate them um and help them because I've read Marian Williams quote from coach Carter about our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate it's that we are powerful beyond measure And when we shine our light, it liberates other people. Yeah. And yeah, that's my favorite quote. Um, so I took a picture of me on this bridge with my shirt all flexing and took a picture of me like literally cracked out, put them next to each other so people could believe cuz my town knew I was like a bad person. So I'm like, I need them to believe I'm healthy. And then I wrote my story. Um, just Facebook, Instagram at the time. This is like I don't even think Tik Tok maybe it was a thing, but no one was on it. Yeah. I don't think Tik Tok I don't even know when Tik Tok came out but it's it's blown up since co but where did you get your most traction at? Was it Instagram? No Tik Tok. So I mean I I helped a lot of people in the beginning locally Facebook Instagram. Okay. Um so that went on for a while and then I had a girlfriend that was like you need to get on Tik Tok like and once you like you'll reach more. The reach is way easy like they give you more of a chance to reach people and uh I mean I was helping hundreds of thousands now. I think I helped 90 million a year on TikTok. Um, but quickly I was reaching numbers that I couldn't even fathom. I didn't know what to do with the people reaching out for help. I was like, "Oh shit." Mhm. Um, so that's how that was all built. I never planned for this. Um, it was just like that. Um, yeah. Well, I think it's I think it's important for you to realize that. Um, you know, when I say influencer, some people think like, you know, uh, just just well known. What I mean by influencer also is that at 30 years old in a season coming out of something like COVID where nobody know knew what to do. Um and all of us were kind of chilling at home because I've had people on the podcast that that's when they got into their addiction because of the depression and the staying inside and all that. They just couldn't handle it. But for somebody that was young like you that can look around and and realize, okay, I can use this to be influential to people that need to see a young a young man, you know, going through this and then being that 12th stepping guy, you know, people, especially when you talk about those pictures you put side by side, people I I got sober by hearing other people's stories. That's what this whole podcast is for. It's it's to give this platform to you so other people may come along and and see you and be able to connect with you and just know okay this is a glimpse in his story but then if you look at that side by side you know this is what he came from but people are going to connect with that but then seeing how fast life can change cuz I mean in addiction you know we're there from the time that we have that traumatic experience or the first time we use or whatever up till the time we stop and for you to have this much happened in six years. That's that's pretty pretty imp impressive. So, your influence is is reaching a lot of people. What do you what do you plan on doing uh in this new year coming up? We're recording now and it's January and this this will probably release January, February, maybe maybe March if if it gets pushed. Um, as we're as we're now in 2026, as this when this airs, what what is what is Recovery John plan on doing um to even go farther? Keep keep uh more outreach um because for a while then it did become business. I wrote the book um got into the you know the treatment space um it became a mix. So recently, this last few months, it's been a lot more of back to basics. I'm just here to help people, be of service. Whenever I do that, God handles the rest. Um on this uh by the end of 2026, I want to be my the owner of my own treatment center of a program that I set up and believe that gives good service. Um going through those different treatment centers, I realize how many are shitty and a waste of time, honestly. Um some of them are out just for money. Exactly. Um and it is like I want to be wealthy. Like that's one thing I'm not Yeah. I struggle with some of the things with AA that I think it's amazing or some people take AA out of AA, you know, like I want to be well. I want to not be sober and take care of my I want to retire my parents. I want to take care of my family. I think a lot of people shy away from being powerful. Um, but I want to I think the more positive I am in my my personal life, I could be more of an impact to more people. Um, but a lot of them are, yeah, they're just about laying around in a bed and that no one gets sober that way. So, I want a really intensive program that's like, you know, the whole healing and offers all programs, AANA, Smart Recovery. So, yeah, to be my owner, um, I'll probably come out with another book and, um, I'm doing a lot of outreach. I'm in January, I'm looking to pass a bill with my senator in Connecticut to ban 70. Um, because I don't know if you've heard of that, but it's got like a ton of people addicted. Um, never heard of that. Tell me what that is. So, there's a plant calledratom in Southeast Asia. Um, yeah, I think I found the podcast for it that sells cratom. I know it's kind of taboo. Yeah. But part I think itself won't get you high like th like um CBD. Yeah. But they extract this one thing called Mitrogena um which is called 70 and it's full-blown opiate addiction. Um, so people are buying it at gas stations. Florida banned it, but like Connecticut is legal. A lot of states is legal. And on on the package it says like gut health, anxiety, depression. So you have normal people that like not even addicts, like doctors and like, "Oh, look at this. Like take this for my health." I mean, pretty stupid if you do that, but people do. Or you have other addicts that are sober and now, you know, you give them another temptation and they're like, "Well, it's legal." and then they're DMing me to go to rehab or get help because they're in full opiate withdrawal and they didn't know it was an addiction. Let me ask you a question and I want your this is now a professional point of view. Someone that can buy that because they see that label where it says, "Oh, this helps you with whatever and they're in um recovery." would if they bought that and and tried it because of what the box said, do you feel like they relapsed? [snorts] Um, if they didn't know it was mindaltering, no. Um, but if you knew what it was, but that's a scary thing. Nowhere in the boxes say this is addictive. This is opiate. This is It literally just says it's like CBD, like won't get you high. It's a vitamin. And that's a problem that people are getting literally like played into addiction. I know some people carry that that that around with them, you know, like for me, I'm I'm thinking about me because I I accidentally took a drink one time at a wedding. I thought it was water, but it was like clear wine or something. It was or not wine. Yeah. Wine. It was [clears throat] like uh the white wine and it was at night time and it was sitting by my my water, the plastic little wedding cups, you know? Yeah. And I freaked out. It was it was at my brother-in-law's wedding, my sister-in-law's wedding, and I looked at my wife, I was like, "I need to I guess I need to call my sponsor. Maybe did I just relapse?" And and he was like, "No." He's like, "You know, just like what you just said." Um, you you realize that it was it was not intentional. It was accidental. Um, and if it wasn't mindaltering or whatever, you know, the same thing. I'm not trying to give permission for anybody to go do that. I'm just saying people will have these certain uh times or instances and it could be in a gas station where these things are now sold or these things that you don't think are addictive like you said. Um so we just have to be careful um out there things are crazy. No, I'm I'm messed up. I call that a freelance. Free lapse. Okay. Yeah. 100%. One time someone asked me like I think I was going out with a girl or to a wedding with my family and they're like well don't grab anything like what if it has alcohol and I was like at that point I could drink it. It's a free laugh. I'm getting [ __ ] up. And they were like that's not funny. [clears throat] But I think it's important like you know what I mean? That's what people don't get. Like you could be funny in soiety. You could take it lightly like if you're not really going to do it. You know what I mean? Like uh but yeah I just came up with that and yeah I still have issues as you could tell. [clears throat] Don't we all? Yeah. So, uh, 2026, you're you're looking to do some big things with with having your own organization. U, I think that's awesome. Uh, I think there needs to be, uh, as many, uh, ways for people to find a treatment if that's what they're called to do. Um, would yours be something like a 30-day or is it like, you know, uh, treatment and like sober living? Uh, I would probably maybe do sober living after. Um, but it would be about like 30 days. um done right. That always worked for me. I think it's just the mix of before and after. People don't know where to start. Like, you know, they Google where to go. Google is whoever paid most for the ads, so they're probably maybe they're not, but I know a lot of them they're probably kind of slimy. Um you know, and then the after a lot of rehabers, all right, good luck. Enjoy. Like everyone relapses. So, I would really just want to focus on, you know, go where you want after, but this is [clears throat] really causing the options that need to happen and educating the addict and the family. Yeah, I love that. That's that's why I wrote the book. The the book Marriage After Addiction is written to the spouse, the supporting spouse of someone like like you and I because there's none, you know, there's treatment, but then you got to have a treatment plan, like a follow-up plan. Like, people need help to get to that 60-day chip. they need help to get to that 98 chip and all they have is, you know, you kind of get thrown back in there. Well, this is what you need to do. Well, yeah, you're right. This that seems very easy and super practical, but not everybody will connect with a sponsor. Not everybody will connect with AA. Not everybody, you know, will do the intensive outpatient, you know, plan. There's there's got to be as many [gasps] options as possible. Again, I'm not beating up AA. I I did AA for two years and then it just it quit meeting the mark that I needed in my life. Now I I believe in meetings. I will still go to a meeting every once in a while. I don't feel like I have to go to one every day to stay sober. I I have life that [laughter] that just helps me stay sober. Um but I also have, you know, you know, 15 years in. So, um, again, I I think people need to go if they if it if it's working for them. Mhm. So, as you know, as we kind of come to a little bit of a a close here and and start wrapping up, what's one piece of advice you would give a newcomer, you know, let's say it's a single guy that's watching, single girl that's watching that's, you know, early 30s, like you're early 30s, right? You're 31, 35. 35. Yeah. So, you you're mid-30s. Um, but you got sober at like 28, [clears throat] 29 years old. Yeah. What uh what would be the most strongest piece of advice you would give someone, especially a guy right now? There's going to be a guy I feel like there's going to be a guy that listens to this podcast um that sees you, can relate to your story, um the little bit that you were able to give us a peek inside of, but what would be the a solid piece of advice you would give someone? uh get get honest with with yourself and get your mind right. And I think a lot of people take that as like, you know, just to tell yourself you're an addict, but it's not. It's a perspective of life. Um it's really insanity addiction. The more I've worked in it, it it's really a mental health insanity disease. Um, looking back, the fact that I was more scared to go to rehab or AA than I was to ride around with a gun or snort heroin for breakfast, that's what scares me today is that mentality. Um, really sit and reflect on things of sobriety can't hurt you. Go as hard as you can and your sobriety as you did to your addiction. Um, yeah, just be honest with yourself. [snorts] What's been the uh what's been the best day you've had in recovery? If you think back over the last 6 years after co after all that what's been the the that [snorts] what was a day that you remember that just was a great day. Well there's a moment I mean I've had a lot of like pinnacles I guess like you get it like signing books watching your parents see you sign book like things I never thought would happen. Um got my own place my dream car for me I get to God has put me in weird rooms um that I never thought I could be in. And so I made amends to a friend. Um, and this is just to show people how far and how much God can do if you do the small things. Um, his dad does like the Yankees, the Jets, Giants, Knicks Nets, all the New York equipment basically. And this friend stopped talking to me cuz I was he was one of those kids in the beginning that went away from me because I was so bad and he was a good kid. Um, now I've made amends. I'm close with them. They needed some help. They're like, "You have kind of the free time. It's, you know, a night during the summer once or twice a week, help my dad and my brother and, you know, throw throw me a couple bucks. I mean, he's fanless. Absolutely. Um, so I get to go in the the locker room now. We move their equipment in and out, see the players, meet the players a lot. Um, and there's a moment we come in center field. We're just waiting for something. Um, there's two, one was raining, one was a summer night when it wasn't raining. And the it was after the game and the whole stadium's empty. and I'm standing alone in center field. And uh I don't know, I just like started crying like it wasn't for clout or like I get to do this other people don't. It was just like I don't play for the Yankees, but God's like literally repaired everything. Like I help people. That was what I want. I wanted to be rich as a Yankee just to give money to homeless and my family. I didn't want money. I don't care for myself like that about money means nothing to me. Um I was like, I'm not playing for the Yankees, but I get to help millions of people. that's what I wanted to do. Here I am. Other than playing, I go all the way up to the dugout steps. Um, my my family's proud of me today. They don't worry about where I'm at, what I'm doing. It was just a full circle moment where I was like, I never thought I would be here and I hope someone struggling can listen to that. And um, you know, think of me sitting in that jail cell at 28 saying this ain't Inky Stadium and now somehow got to move all these puzzle pieces to be where I'm at today. I love that, man. I'm proud of you, John. I know we've this is our first time kind of interacting, but I'd love to carry on more conversation with you if that would be okay. And absolutely figure out how I can be a resource when you do open that uh treatment center. We'll be glad to send you as many uh marriage after addiction books for the people that you serve that are married. But um ma'am ma'am, when you put up anything on your social media, if you want to tag us so we can share what you're doing and help get your book out, um just help bring uh traction to the people that you're uh serving, just tag us and we'll we'll re repost it or whatever we need to do to just show you the support that we want to offer uh and help out uh and and whatever we can do to be of service to you. Um please let me know. I appreciate you as well. Same thing. We'll definitely talk after this. What I can do to help? Yeah, you've got my number. just shoot me a text anytime. I'd love to have you come either down to Augusta or maybe have you come out to Dallas and uh spend some time with us and we'll do a roundt. There's a group that I've that I've connected with that were on the podcast over this last year. Um uh one, two, three, four, about five of them. They are heavy influencers kind of like you. Um there's a there's a few of them that have uh if not the same maybe just as just a little bit more. But we'll go live on TikTok. Um, and uh just just it's different people like a there's a girl uh she's m just got married in the last I think year and a half or so. Uh Jordan uh is a married couple. Then there's Dr. John King. He's a he's from Australia. Um he's got that cool thick Australian aborigy voice. Um and then um who else is it? Matt. Matt from Till the Wheels Fall Off. man, we just go on and and just and just talk. Um, we we started doing that last month and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of of followers or likes and all that kind of started coming through on TikTok. And again, I'm like you. I I really don't care about the dollar amount. I don't care about the actual number of followers, but if we if we were to connect with just one or two people in in a moment like that and give them um some hope today, that's that's what it's about for me. I absolutely I could care less about the any kind of because this is a nonprofit. I mean I don't I don't do this for the money. I don't do it for the show either. I do it because I want to build a legacy and leave something that is sustainable and and continue to help people. So Jonathan, thank you so much for for coming on the Recovery About podcast. It was my honor to host you and I I hope you enjoyed uh sharing your story and and giving some hope to some others. Absolutely. I appreciate it. Okay, man. Have a good one. You too. God bless.