From Gang Life to Saving Lives: How Recovery Can Change Everything | Recovery Vow Podcast

In this powerful episode of The Recovery Vow Podcast, Eric sits down with AJ—Director of Community Engagement at End Overdose, a nonprofit on the front lines of the fentanyl crisis—who is turning his past into purpose.

AJ shares how he went from gang life, prison, and heavy drug use to four years of sobriety and a mission to save lives. Growing up in a violent, addiction-fueled environment in California, AJ followed a path that led to meth, opioids, incarceration, and a terrifying moment when he thought his life would end in a shootout with police. But a moment of clarity—and the voice of his 12-year-old son asking him to “work on your problem”—changed everything.

Now, AJ is boots-on-the-ground equipping communities across the U.S. with the tools to prevent overdose deaths. Through End Overdose, he helps train everyday people to recognize the signs of an opioid overdose, administer naloxone (Narcan), and act with confidence in life-or-death situations. Because sometimes saving a life starts with being prepared.

On This Episode:
• From gang life and prison to purpose-driven recovery
• Surviving addiction and an intentional overdose
• The scariest moment that forced him to face reality
• How his son became the reason he chose treatment
• What naloxone (Narcan) is and how it saves lives
• How YOU can get free overdose prevention training
• Why everyone—not just addicts—should carry naloxone

Connect with End Overdose:
🌐 endoverdose.net
📱 Instagram: @end.overdose

Connect with us:
Socials: @‌RecoveryVow
Website: http://recoveryvow.com
Email: recoveryvow@gmail.com

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• Transcript

  Hey, thanks for joining us on the Recovery About podcast. Today, I want you to sit back and hear a couple of things. AJ's going to share his story uh of the work he's doing with an organization called In Overdose. It's a nonprofit based out of California. But I made him open up and talk about his uh his life and what it was like with a gang and life in California, but then also the beauty that came when he chose recovery and the relationship he has with his son now. And it's just it's an impactful uh story. So, not only is the work he do he's doing with end overdose is great work, but the life that he chosen is a great life. And I just want you to sit back, enjoy this episode, and if you have any questions for us, you can reach us at recoverybow.com. [music] So, yeah. So, uh, real quick, uh, End Overdose is a 501c3 nonprofit, uh, based in Los Angeles, California, uh, working to fight against drug related overdose deaths through education, medical intervention, and public awareness. Uh, just to kind of break that down a little bit and how we do it, uh, in the educational aspect, uh, we have a few different, uh, educational trainings. Uh, so, one of those trainings being our opioid overdose prevention and response training. Uh, it it's really, really awesome. Uh, we have a few different forms, variants. Uh, we have our long form training. uh anywhere in LA County, our surrounding areas will show up in person. We also have our online training. Uh so right now, anyone in the US could take our online training. Uh in that training, we cover uh you know, a couple of the objectives of what what we're trying to achieve just so that we have a better understanding of the opioid epidemic that's affecting our communities, uh the physiological effects of opioids, right? Like what's happening in the brain, what's occurring in an overdose. Uh we also cover preventive measures with fentinel test strips just so that people have a better understanding and use of those as preventive measures. Um and then we also cover like the good Samaritan law. You know, we just want people to be comfortable, confident with getting medical assistance on the way. A lot of times someone might be with somebody uh something occurs, right? They don't know or understand that they're protected by the law. So we just want them to be comfortable with calling 911, getting assistance on the way, getting this person uh the medical assistance that they need. Uh and then also like recognizing the signs and symptoms you know um this includes the opioid overdose triad uh steps to take how to administer intraas and aloxxone and continued care. Um in addition to that training uh we also issue like a a cert a certification card. It's something tangible that people could hold uh anytime uh we also mail you a free nlloxxone kit as well. Uh so you know you take our training we distribute free nlloxxone the medication that they use to reverse an opioid overdose. And this is really good with getting the uh the community equipped uh with dealing with this uh an opioid overdose if they ever find theirel in a situation, right? Cuz it could happen at any time. You could be out somewhere to eat, somewhere public, right? Um you know, sometimes we have friends, family members that kind of struggle. You just never know, you know, and and it's really good with getting this information, getting these resources out there into the community. Um, also too we have uh an opioid use disorder uh video as well just so that we kind of understand the uh the addiction side of it as well. Uh and and an anti-stigma video as well just to kind of destigmatize the topic uh and just educate individuals uh as well. Um yeah, so really really awesome. Really love what we do. Uh I am director of community engagement and training at End Overdose. Um and uh you know just a little my role in what I do. I'm very booted on the ground. Uh I do a lot of outreach in the community. This is like outreach to like treatment centers, uh sober livingings, uh reaching out to city, uh local government officials, um trying to get like a a training setup in the community. We've had some really good successes with like locking out of Flint Ridge, uh Baldin Park, Lawenta, just to kind of name a few. Uh just really, you know, get these resources out into the community. Uh but I am not the owner. Uh our CEO, our CEO is actually Theo Chriswiki. He is a LA County Firefire paramedic. Uh, and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to work with this organization. Well, you you just compiled a whole podcast into four minutes. Um, and [laughter] I'm so sorry. I want to pick every piece of that apart a little bit because it's it's uh it's very important for for listeners and people like me that are in recovery to understand that what you're offering are life-saving tools and measurements. Right. So uh Narcan is uh uh what is Narcan exactly? Yeah, absolutely. So so Narcan it's just a brand name of Nlloxxone. Uh we use the generic term Nlloxxone. We have a few different variants. Uh and it comes in different forms. Uh so Nlloxxone is the medication that they use to reverse an opioid overdose. Uh its proper name is Nlloxxone hydrochloride. Uh and this device comes in it could come in an intraasal device just like this right here. Mhm. Uh looks just like this. You just stick in the nose and you hit the blender all the way. Uh kind of just shoots out in a mist. Uh we have uh mucous membranes and capillaries in the back of the nostril and that's how it's absorbed in the bloodstream. Uh there's also like intramuscular auto inject system which just like which works just like a um an EpiPen. Uh but basically this this medication nlloxxone it's an opioid antagonist. Okay. So, I want to walk someone through because that's that's a lot of information, but if we were going to just kind of pump the brakes a little bit this Narcan, people have seen it on TV and it's like um what will revive people that are overdosing? Um can you share have you ever used it on someone and and like what is like a what are they going to see? you know, you're teaching them how to use it and and I hope I'm saying that right, but visually for me, that's like a traumatic moment. Like if I saw someone that's actively overdosing and I need I need to think back through the training I got from you guys on how to administer Narcan. Um what are we going to see? What what is it going to look like? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Uh it's it's a very real situation and a lot of times when we come in contact with it, it's a little scary. Uh I've administered Nlloxxone one time uh but that was it. Um so what what this is going to look like. So we teach three different signs and symptoms and we also refer refer to it as the opioid overdose triad. Um so one of those signs being if you notice that the vigil individual is unconscious and unresponsive. Um and this is how I like to break down the training. Like look, it's a very quick assessment that we're going to do. uh if you're walking, you know, the first thing you're probably going to notice is someone that is unconscious, right? That's going to raise some red flags, right? Like, hey, let's do a wellness check. Make sure that this individual's okay, that they're all right. You know, if you work in treatment, a lot of times we got to do a wellness check. We got to make sure that the person's alive. You know, hey, can I get a response out of you? Uh and there's a number of ways to check for this. Uh we could do verbal, we could do touch, like, hey, excuse me. Are you okay? You all right? Kind of just pat them on the chest, shake them a little bit. Um, and if they're unresponsive to verbal untouch, uh, typically we train individuals to, uh, to go to painful stimuli. Um, there's a couple things that we could do. Uh, a lot of us are familiar with the sternum rub. Uh, you you get your hand, ber in the fist. Absolutely. There we go, Eric. Absolutely. Right. Right on the sternum. Right. You know how I know that? [laughter] Because I've had it done on me. Like I not overdose. I tried to hurt myself. And I remember the lady was doing that and then she was sticking ammonia tablets in my nose. But yes, it was trying to wake you up, huh? Yeah. They were trying to wake me up. And I remember um I I I was a EMT uh firefighter whatever at one time and you're talking about you got to check the ABCs, the airway, breathing and circulation because can you just walk up and give anyone Narcan? I mean is it counteract or or let's say they're not dealing with an overdose, but you gave them Narcan, is that going to hurt hurt them in any other way? No. And that that's the good thing about this medication is is there's no life-threatening side effects of the medication. And that's one thing we kind of we kind of uh uh cover in the training too. A lot of times someone might, you know, they might be afraid to administer uh the medication. They might be afraid, right? Uh and it's like, hey, there's no lasting side effects of this medication. If you miss if you happen to misdiagnose someone and they're not overdosing on an opiate or opiate, you know, uh say they were sleeping, uh no harm, no foul, they'll be perfectly fine. Uh but we also do have a section on our training of when not to administer an aloxxone. you know, if the person's responsive, if they're breathing heavily, if you notice that the pupils are are dilated really big, or if you're getting a normal response out of them. You know, chances are it's a different medical emergency, and we still want to get this person the proper medical attention that they need. When when you you said you're in California, right? Yes. Okay. Is it true like um and I was in California recently, I just didn't pay attention. Are there are there like vending machines for Narcan out there for people to get or is how accessible is it for the public? Uh so I would say over here in California it's it's pretty accessible. Uh you're able to purchase this medication over the counter now. Uh so you could go to any major pharmacy. Uh you know you go to Walgreens, CVS or anything like that. But the only problem with that is you're going to come out of pocket around4 $40 $50. Um there are a lot of organization ours we give out free Nlloxxone uh if you take our training at endoverdose.net net. Once you complete that training, uh we'll ship you Nlloxxone right to your door. So, Nlloxxone is is pretty accessible here in the state of California. And if we were going to help you uh get um end overdose out there through our platform, you know, at Recovery Val, we're a nonprofit also. and we want to be able to work with other nonprofits and um and we understand that there's you know different kinds of drugs out there that people you know use and try and you know sometimes before they can get to treatment they have to be revived and so um you know fentanyl's everywhere so how can how can we um on this platform say okay we want do we have to go through your training to get um our hands on what you offer and If and if you do, how long does the training last, how much does it cost, and who all can sign up for it? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So, if you're look if you're interested in taking our training, uh you could take our training at end endoverdose.net. Um you could also check out our socials. You know, our Instagram is end.overd. Um so, right now, anywhere anybody in the US could take our training. Uh go to endoverdose.net. Uh training last uh lasts around 20 to 30 minutes. Uh you'll watch a couple brief videos. Uh there'll also be like uh Q&A right there. You just answer them. Uh once you pass the training, uh it'll give you a digital certificate card. I could kind of pull up mine on my phone uh just so that we kind of know that know what it looks like. It's really really awesome. Let me pull it up on my wallet real quick. Uh so if you have an iPhone, uh it'll allow you to uh certificate. Well, it's probably reverse right now, but you can like download it to your phone uh to your digital wallet. It's really really awesome. Uh and then we'll give you the option to order the nlloxxone kit straight to your door. Um typically, uh we highly value the educational aspect. It's one thing to give someone the medication. Uh but once again, we really value the educational aspect behind it. Uh teaching you the signs and symptoms so that you know what to look for and also how to administer the medication. And you know, the whole purpose of that training is to get you more comfortable, more confident with doing your part to save someone's life. Now, are you guys is there a specific um target audience you're trying to to get to go through your course or is it everybody? You know, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, you just want to have the product in people's hands so they they have it accessible to them is what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. We encourage everybody to take this training. Um, you know, if you know somebody that's struggling, if you don't know somebody that's struggling, right, once again, you can encounter this this uh this uh situation at any time. you know, we're just equipping communities to be readily available, you know, just to be able to uh uh uh to react in a situation like this. So, we highly encourage everybody to take our training. Uh we also work with like high schools and middle schools as well to do like awareness campaigns. Uh we're able to offer like a digital training as well. Uh we actually just came out with a a digital video game called Narcat's World. Uh it's just like a video, it's an interactive video game. It's really really awesome, especially for like our younger audience, you know. So yeah, we encourage everybody to take our training. Um, if we wanted um, let me think through a question real quick because I want to formulate this. I want to ask you a question. Why do you want to do this? Do you do this because you dealt with addiction or did you have someone in your family that dealt with addiction? Have you um you said you've seen you've had to use it once, but I mean how how how much have you seen um these things get worse. What makes you what drives you AJ to do what you're doing? Man, it's you know what what drives me? It's it's just the uh the mission to save lives and get this resource out there, you know? Um I've lost a childhood friend uh due to drug overdose. Uh he overdosed on fentinol. Uh this was somebody that was like my brother growing up, you know. Um I was incarcerated at the time and then I had heard that he had passed away and that really really hurt, you know. [snorts] Um I have a history with drug use, you know. I've overdosed in the past. Uh my situation looked a little different. Uh I was in a very very dark spot and uh it was an intentional overdose. And um basically what happened was, you know, during that time, you know, somebody did their part to save my life, right? They didn't have nlloxxone but somebody responded and and and that's like that's the passion that I have right now. Like I wouldn't be here today if somebody didn't do their part to save my life, right? And that's my whole drive. That's my passion uh with doing what I'm doing today. You know, I I used my experience and I use that to fuel my passion uh to do here at Overdose. I love that. Can we talk about that for a minute? Can you tell us a little bit about your story? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Uh, so I grew up in the city of Isusi, California. Um, you know, I would say it was a dysfunctional family. Um, you know, wasn't normal by any means necessary. And, and the reason why I say this is, you know, um, you know, the gangs were involved in the area that I grew up in. You know, uh, my father was a gang member. Um, you know, I from a young age, I I I lacked a connection with others. You know, uh, I I didn't really have that, uh, kind, love, and care in the household. at least I didn't feel it at the time growing up. Um, and that kind of led me uh to make some choices that, you know, that didn't really suit me at the time, you know, but growing up in that environment, you know, like a lot of things that that I did growing up were kind of normal, right? Like, you know, drug use to violence and everything like that growing up was was pretty normal, you know, it was it was uh it was normal in the household. And uh, you know, I didn't really understand or realize this, but there was a there was there was an ego. there was an ego that was kind of being molded and created from a young age. um you know and and and there was also a lot of fear right there was a lot of fear of of not being accepted by others uh of being judged you know um in the environment that I was in you know and um yeah so that that kind of took me down some some not so good routes you know juvenile hall uh at a young age you know um a couple a camp term you know eventually on to prison and uh you know just like heavy drug use you know my my drug of choice was uh you know was methamphetam I mean for a lot a lot of years, you know, at the end, you know, opioids came into the picture. If they were there, I was doing them. Uh I left prison with the with the suboxin habit, you know, uh when I had got out. And um Yeah. Yeah. And and that was my experience. But you know, you know, during this experience, um I I kind of lost who I was, you know, like I wasn't the age I was at when I was a kid. you know, things started to change and um you know, uh I would say like my experience kind of brought me to my knees, man. Like that, you know, when when I overdosed, you know, that was uh I that was a very dark place in my life, you know, I I kind of lost my will to live and I really didn't care what happened to me at the time, you know. Um I remember when I woke up, my my mom was there and, you know, I was just like real resentful of my mom, you know, my parents. Uh my dad my dad has since passed away and uh you know it really took me to get to this point to really really understand and realize that you know they they did the best that they could with what they knew how. You know um you have brothers and sisters. I do. Yeah. I'm I'm the oldest of of four siblings and I have a half sister. Um I got my two younger sisters and then I have a little a little brother who's also in recovery as well. Um you know and I get to make a living amends to them. you know, I get to walk this road with my little brother, which is really, really awesome. You know, he kind of followed in my footsteps just like I followed in my dad's. And I didn't really understand how my life choices were going to, we're going to impact my little brother or my family members around me, right? Um, I was really self-centered, real selfish. Um, and uh, yeah, I, you know, I get to walk this world, this road with my little brother, and, you know, everybody's really happy where I'm at today. So, that's great, man. So, uh, how long have you been in your recovery now? Yeah. So, uh I currently have uh four years. Um that's awesome. I got I got Yeah, I got I got clean on April 21. My clean date is April 21st. Uh I actually went into a recovery center on April 20th. Uh I I got loaded that day, you know what I mean? I had to do one last hurrah, you know, before I checked myself in. And uh you know, I I checked in and u you know, I almost didn't make it in, man. Like it's it's kind of a crazy story. I almost didn't make it in, man. And I just had like this moment of clarity which I was just like, dude, like I really got to get in here. And uh I remember, you know, you know, the fog kind of cleared up a little bit. And I remember being there and I was like, oh yeah, my my my clean date's uh April 20th. And I was like, no, no, you you were high that day. So yeah, my clean date is April 21st. Yeah. I was the same way. I left for treatment on the 26th of September. Um but I didn't stop drinking until um it was after midnight on the on the next day. So September 27th is my sobriety date, but it was because of the same same reason. Um I had to I had to fly down to Florida and they just they told me to they said you need to keep drinking so your DTS don't kick in on the plane. You know, you don't want to be a reason to be a flight risk or whatever. So um now can I [clears throat] can I dig into your personal life? Are you married now? like how has your recovery helped you and your relationships because because you said earlier you just you wanted to be kind of disconnected but has has your recovery reshaped who you are in the last four years and and how are you with your family? Oh man, it's um it it's a night and day comparison, right? Uh I I'm I'm not the same person I was when I first went into treatment, you know. Uh and that's because of this recovery process. Uh I I would say, you know, I've I've done, you know, complete 180 from the person that I was, you know, um and I'm not I'm not married. Uh I was in a relationship. Um but, you know, being in recovery, it's taught me to to value relationships with others, right? Um and and to be mindful of how my actions uh how my actions, right, uh interfere and interact with other individuals. And um you know, it's been it's it's it's a learning curve, right? Like I'm still learning. I'm still growing, you know, and but I try to keep an open mind. I try to keep an open mind. I try to remain teachable. Um trying to be and you know, like I said, just aware of my actions and um you know, my relationships today are so much better. So much better. You know, I I was real selfish in the past. Uh Eric, I'd only mess with you if I wanted something from you, right? If you had dope, something like that that I could kind of use from you. If you had a place for me to stay or something like that. Uh and that looks a lot different today, right? Um I learned to uh uh I learned to be of service. Service plays an important part in my recovery journey today. You know, giving freely of myself. Uh and just, you know, doing things for the right reason, right? Like just practicing goodwill today. Um you know, and and and the result of that, you know, hey, you know, being a dad, I'm I'm able to be a present father today. Uh I have close friendships, right? Uh I'm able to build and value those friendships, right? uh relationships with other individuals, you know, uh with my co-workers. Uh I'm employable today, you know, uh people actually want me around. [laughter] So, that's a good Yeah, there there's a time Yeah, there's a time when people didn't want me around, man. Like, uh if I could just share a story real quick. Um time in the world. This last Yeah. This last time when I got [clears throat] out, uh my sister so my sister my sister was engaged. Uh my sister got married. Um and my sister invited me to her wedding, you know. Um, and this was this was something that was big for me. You know, I remember attending my sister's wedding and my sister pulled me aside and she talked to me and she's like, "You know what, AJ? I wasn't going to invite you to my wedding." And as as much as that hurt, right? And she's like, "Because all the that you bring, you know, she was like, I'm I'm happy that you made the choice uh to change your life." Um, and and and I'm happy that you're here today and I'm happy that I invited you and and like that like man that brought me so much joy hearing that from my sister. You know what I mean? Um, priceless. That was really real. It's priceless. It was priceless, man. And I remember being at this wedding, right? It was me and my brother. Um, you know, like they were serving alcohol and like me and my brother, like I mentioned, my brother's in in the program, too. And uh we were like the loudest table. Like we were having so much fun right there and everybody was walking [laughter] by and they're like, "Oh, you guys are having so much fun." Like, "Yeah, we're not even drinking. Come on, come sit at the table over here, you know. So, [laughter] I want you to, you know, and that's just Yeah. No, you're good. I want you to um if you don't mind, you you talked about gang and you talked about, you know, your past. You talked about going to jail. Um if you had to think back through just one of the scariest moments in your addiction, um and I don't want to trigger you, but I just want people to hear who AJ is. you know, you you got this product that you believe in that you're you're telling us about, but I I want I want them to give a just a small glimpse into what life was like. Can you remember one of the scariest moments in your addiction when you looked around, you're like, "Oh, this is this is rough." Yeah. Um there was uh there was one there was one moment in particular and this kind of helped me this kind of this kind of had an impact and an influence on me like I got to do something different, right? Um, I remember uh I was hanging out at one of my homeboy pads and uh you know he's he's been to prison multiple times, right? He's a known gang member. Um you know I remember we were slamming we were slamming meds. We were slamming dope and I remember you know like anytime I'd go he'd like hey bam like this gun's for you when you're here at the apartment you know [snorts] and um you know there there was talks of he was just like man like if the cops ever come like I'm I'm gonna get in a shootout. You know what I mean? And uh and I was just like, "Fuck, like, you know, like he's ser he's serious, you know?" And uh so so one day we're we're kicking it, right? We had cameras set up all all around the spot. And so one day we're kicking it and we see we see the cops go by on the main street. Right? We see them go by. So we're looking, got our attention. Um and then next thing you know, we see another cop come by. Boom. They park on the side street. Boom, boom, boom, boom, [laughter] boom, boom. They all line up right there in front of the street. And um you know, the apartment, we're on top. We had the balcony right there. We could see the street. Um, and and it looks like they're they're doing sweeps, you know? So, you know, in my head I'm thinking I'm just like, "Fuck, man." Like, everything he's talking about, like, I'm just like, "Fuck." Like, this is the way I'm gonna go out. And I was I was genuinely afraid. Like, I was like I was just scared. I was like, "This this is, you know, they I was afraid, but there was something in me that was just like, well, it. This is this is how it's going to happen, you know?" So, anyways, they they got out, they all lined up, they they walked inside the gate, and we're at the top apartment, and they walk around. So, we're like, "Oh, maybe they're here for something else." Well, anyways, they come back around and they come up the stairs. Boom, they come knocking on the door. And, you know, like I said, like I was just that that fear just overcame me. I was just like I was I was shaking a little bit and but I was just like I was just like, you know, I was trying to control my breathing. [snorts] I was high at the time, right? And uh and I was just like, man, like this is what's going to happen, you know? This is this is uh this is this is real. This is real, you know. Um anyways, uh what ended up happening was uh uh somebody had lived there prior uh with that address. They just wanted to make sure that everything was all right. And um you know, they're like, "Hey, we just want to make sure this person's out of the house." We're like, "Hey, that that's all you want." And they're like, "Yeah, that's it." So uh uh they they held true to their word and and they went in and they they checked the person wasn't there that they were looking for and and they had took off and left you know and you know that like I had a moment of clarity in that moment you know and uh uh I had one shortly after this too but it was just like man like like that that was really scary like that was that I was genuinely afraid at that time you know I was shaky and just do wellness checks [laughter] [clears throat] yeah they don't just do wellness checks like that you know what I mean and just like the mindset you you know, and and I was just like, man, dude, like I was so afraid. But anyways, like a couple days goes by and I'm still at the same spot, right? And uh we're out there, we're we're patrolling the apartments, you know, and um there was something I was like, "Dude, like this is like I had a moment of clarity." He was like, "This is a burn. Like, hey, I got to get out of here, you know? I got to get I got to find something." So, I hit up my other homeboy. I was like, "Hey, man. Let's go gamble. Let's go gamble." He's like, "All right." I was like, "Hey, I got some money for you. We're going to go gamble." You know, and I just I just wanted to get away for a little bit. And I remember uh you know he he picked me up and you know we went to go gamble and then I I uh I went into a halfway house not not too far after. So at the time I was on federal probation. Um and then my probation officer was just like hey you got to go to this halfway house. And I was like what for what? Like I gave you my nana's address like I'm good. And she's like no no no no no. I know how you are at that house right there. Uh she's like you're going to go to this halfway house. Now mind you this halfway house I've been to before. Um, so you know, I try I tried to argue against it. She's like, "No, get there on this date." So, uh, I ended up, uh, I ended up checking into the halfway house and then like when I had got there, you know, I had a little bit of heroin on me, so I was getting high. I was quarantined. I was by myself and, uh, um, shortly thereafter, I kind of went into into the treatment center that I had checked into. That's awesome, man. Well, I'm going to make a really hard shift real quick. You told us the scariest moment uh when the cops came and did a wellness check at the place where you're getting at getting high at and you got really really lucky there and it led you to your sobriety that you're in now. Thinking through your sobriety, tell tell us your most favorite moment in the last four years, like when you look back to where you've where you've come from, what's been the best moment? And it could be that there was a day or a moment in time or like a week, but what's been the the thing that stuck out the most you look back and say, "I did that." Man, this is a uh this this kind of a hard one because I have so many, you know. Give us the one that sticks out the most. Oh man, dude. Um let's see here. I'm kind of I'm kind of thinking I'm kind of thinking about this one. What's the one that that stuck out the most? Um, you know, anytime I have the opportunity to really just hang out with my son, you know, I I I try I try to balance life, you know, and and anytime I try to pick him up, you know, we always try to do things and it's like, man, like I I get to be present as a father here, you know, and I could get a little better with like balancing that out. And it's just me being honest and seeing him a little more than I usually do. Sometimes I get, you know, caught up with work and everything uh and my recovery life. Um, but you know, the do the the times and opportunities that I get to spend with him are are really really amazing. He's growing up and um, you know, like I I hit a certain age when, you know, I heard I hit a certain age with my dad where like I really didn't care, you know, and and with my son like it was kind of like this perfect time, you know, when I decided to get clean, go into treatment, and he's kind of the reason why I went in. [snorts] um before I went into treatment, you know, like my son was 11 years old at the time and and I was like, "Hey son, like I I could stay at this recover I could stay at this program uh the one I checked into for federal probation." I was like, "Oh, I could uh I could work on my problem." You know, and my son was 11 years old at the time and he was like, "Dad, I want you to work on your problem." You know, and it was just like that perfect age like where he really didn't get tired of me or just like stop believing in me, you know. And [snorts] that's like one of the moments I look back on and um you know I can't I can't take back the time because I I was an absent dad for a long time. Like I wasn't there for my son, you know, and that's the reality of the situation. Like that's that's my truth. Like that's my reality and and I can accept that, you know. I can't change the past. All I could do is be be present here in this moment. I think I think that's the I think that's the best that's the best. So it doesn't have to be a moment. It could be the whole time. And and you answered that perfectly [snorts] and you made it about your son. Um and I'm assuming he's 14 15 years old now. Oh, my son. He's he's 16 now. [laughter] 16 now. Yeah, 16. I'm sorry. He was uh he was 12 at the time. I'm sorry. Yeah, he was 12 at the time. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, that's awesome, man. That's really awesome. I'm so proud of you. Um AJ, I I appreciate you coming on the Recovery Val podcast. one for sharing what um what end overdose is doing. I think that's incredible and we we want to walk alongside of you and and uh and this organization to to help where we can. Um you know, we have people that come through our program and and not everybody's addicted to a substance. Sometimes it's a process, but in this case it it can be a substance addiction u specifically um that needs Narcan. um yeah that [clears throat] um that it just scares me that that wasn't out there um when I was out there uh fentanyl. And so I'm really proud of of the work you're doing. But I'm going to tell you something. I'm I'm really proud of you for sharing just a a glimpse inside of your story and then a glimpse inside of your recovery because without you making that that vow and that commitment to yourself, you couldn't have that conversation you just had about your son and think about him and it be the uh the moment um that that just rose to the top out of all the things that happened. And so you got that relationship because of your recovery and you made the choice and uh I'm just very proud of you. Very proud of the work you're doing. I just want you to hear that you did. Hey, for this be your first podcast, you laughed, you cried, [laughter] you know, you you you you let everybody kind of get a glimpse inside. So, you did a great job. Yeah, Eric, I thank thank you, you know, um this this has been an amazing experience so far, you know, and thank you for allowing me on on on your platform, you know, it's been [music] an amazing experience so far.